Well I finally got my phone call two week's ago to go Into hospital for my final two "procedure's" on the 20th of this month and straight away I'm nervous. I don't know why. I will be out cold when they do It so that part will be over . . . .I hope . . . This past week I've been experiencing doubt's that the cancer Is gone. I've been getting ache's In my groin again and a feeling of nausea. I had these before I was diagnosed and my urine smell's. I've not said anything to my wife I don't want to worry her It could be nothing. but I'm really worried I will mention this to the surgeon before they operate. one of the procedure's they are doing Is looking Inside my bladder to see If there are any more tumor's surely he will tell me afterward If there Is anything there Instead of making me wait until November. what's the point of that. It's just prolonging my agony. I don't know If I could face It all again If It has come back. maybe I'm being paranoid and It's all In my mind. but the ache and nausea were real enough,
