I have just been reading the comment's from Cruton and Jenny. thank you lady's something I never expected. regarding the advert's. I feel that they are detrimental to people who are suffering from cancer. all I want to do Is forget the last seven month's and try to regain at least some of my life. I used to practice yoga and did so for five year's. I love to read. I never read anything while going through the treatment's. I now dread night time. not because I hardly sleep because of constantly needing to urinate but because my mind Is constantly replaying what I have been through. I even dream about It. In my mind everything Is different now. there was me before cancer and me now. I am completely changed. nothing Is Important. why bother with yoga or reading. I no longer worry about anything. I can't see an end to this. even when the cancer has been removed It's on going. there's always that chance It could come back. when my wife visited me In hospital I broke down crying. she said " It's ok we will get through this" I said I'm not crying for myself. I'm crying for you. what you will have to go through. I think If I were single no wife no kid's I would not have accepted the treatment. I even asked the consultant how long I would have If I declined. he said three year's at the most. It's family Isn't It that make's us suffer the treatment. I have a grand daughter that suffer's with Cystic Fibrosis. she Is now twenty two. she has suffered all her life. and has tried to take her own life at least twice. she visited me In hospital and we had a long talk. I understand now and will never judge her ever again. she has spent half her life In hospital. I asked her how do you cope with your Illness. she told me she live's a day at a time. she has been very lucky and never complain's I felt ashamed. I look up to her because what I have been through Is nothing compared to what she has
