January 18th, it is ten years since I went in to hospital...
I remember the white,
Crisp snow,
Starched sheet,
The dark of the night,
Defeat...
The bare all,
The recall,
The hair fall,
(The long hall)
The pain sharp yet bright,
Spilled drinks,
Silk pyjamas,
The bandages tight,
And going bananas...
Isolation,
Creation,
Mutation,
Foundation.
The treatment weeks were like a black hole I fell deeper and deeper in to. The day I had my first operation it snowed and then the lump wasn’t enough for the margins and there was lymph node involvement, so the week after I had a mastectomy. At this point I had a breast implant that then rejected and my body started destroying itself, and it was a challenge to get the medical team to respond -but all of that was the start of all of this, and it has been this that has underpinned change in my life, for the better...
