Gosh I don't know how to bring this all together I am slightly tiddly but it is my birthday so think it is allowed!
Today I have stopped to think about it all, I have been so lucky in that I was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer and after radiotherapy with chemo, three surgeries and 6 months chemo I have managed to have two scans showing NED so far. In some ways I feel guilty that I was lucky and others in my situation were not - my heart goes out to all those that didn't make it and especially to their families ,loved ones, friends. I may have many years or even the rest of my years without reccurrence - I don't know. But that is just it - I do not know and sometimes that is a hard situation to live with. I don't feel sorry for myself but sometimes I am scared. I don't think about it every day and I get on with life with all it's ups and downs but tonight I am thinking that I am living with more uncertainty than I had expected. A number of people have said ' well we could all be run over by a bus tomorrow' and that is true, but no-one seems to understand the threat of cancer unless they have been touched by it.
I don't have any profound insights, just an honest exposure of my innermost feelings.
That is all.
Cathie x
