Just don't know :'(

I awake this morning but unfortunately this nightmare called cancer is still taking over my family, why couldn't it be an awful dream instead of a nightmare that seems to get worse day by day. My dad has his meeting with the oncologist today, he finds out if his cancer has spread. We already know it has spread to lymph nodes but he had a pet scan Tuesday so the news could be worse :( Yesterday my mum came round, as she often does as we live in the same road. She told me about dads appointment and then said that she has the hospital next Thursday. WHAT was my response after she had ovarian cancer symptoms last month but a ultrasound was all clear. I though that was one less thing to worry about, even though my mum is still getting symptoms tummy pain and wind. What my mum was about to say was a shock, I have found a lump on my neck and the doctor wants me to go to hospital to have it checked. I felt a cold sweat take over my body..... Lump to me means cancer. She showed me this lump which is pretty big about 2inches by 2inches, you can see it if her hair wasn't covering it. It's not exactly solild and firm but not movable. It made me want to wretch as I felt this alien invader on my mums body. She then explained how she had seen my brother at work as they worke in the same place, he had called her over to say he had found a lump on his head! She felt it and said it was hard and defined and very odd, he has the doctors today to ask about it! I can't actually believe this is all happening, as I write this down it sounds like some far fetched story but wait its not this is my life....... I too have had a concern about my breasts, last year I had a ultrasound on my right breast because of pain, it was all clear. Now this year both breast are so sore for 3 weeks around my period. The pain goes after my period but then I still feel odd twinges in them and if my daughter leans on one to hard it hurts. I cant feel any lumps, I have lumpy boobs that flare during my period and then go down after. With all this I just feel like a nut case, like this can't be happening. I feel like screaming and shouting it punching something but at the same time I feel the anti deppresents I am on are numbing some of my emotions as before I would definitly not have been coping at all. Well today I am hoping for good news about my dad but fearing the worst :( Just don't know what to do anymore :(