Tomorrow is the day we find out my dads biopsy results. I feel scared and keep imagining what they may say, what I think they will say. What I hope they say is very different from what I think they will say.
We all went to the coast today, had a good walk and some fish and chips. It was lovely only my mind is so occupied with other thoughts.
Last year I had a breast ultrasound on my right breast as it was hurting, the ultrasound was clear. The last few weeks both my breast have been hurting, mainly when pushed or touched or when I take my bra off. Though sometimes I get twinges in them and they hurt a little when I walk. I also have aching sometimes in them as well as my arm and underarm. I got measured for a bra yesterday and have gone up a cupsize. I am due on my period the 26th but my breasts have been sore since 15 days before, they often are sore 2 weeks before my period then ease as I start my period. But for some reason they seem worse this month and I am worried. I mentioned it to my doctor when I went to see about my anti depressents but he didn't seem concerned. He asked if I was pregnant lol no chance my sex drive is non existent tmi sorry. I am 26. How can I worry about myself when my dad is going through this. I am scared for tomorrow I am scared of the changes that are going to happen I am scared of losing my daddy. I am overwhelmed by so many feelings that I try to just block them out to not think. I looked forward to going to bed but now I dream about what's happening and I can't escape :(
Hello Knicnic the waiting and not knowing sends thoughts into overdrive and it seems the out come we come up with is always the worst it can be.I guess it s our way of trying to prepare ourselves for the worst whilst hoping for the best but in reality it doesn't really work.I so hope you have some good news.When the consultant and the team inform you of the results then you will know exactly what you are all dealing with and the best way to deal with it. It is more than understandable that you are scared and stressed have you sought counselling as a way of you talking through your fears.The pain you describe in your breasts reminds me of something that happened to me a while ago.I had pain like you describe and I thought it was something sinister but a recent mammogram showed no abnormalities but didn't stop me thinking it was sinister when I spoke to my GP she said it was down increased prolactin levels caused by stress but it is always always wise to have anything unusual checked out if only to give you some peace of mind.I know in your situation it is hard not to let your imagination run riot but please try to find a way of winding down because if you become unwell then it would be difficult for you to be there for others.I wish you and your Dad all good things Scraton.x
Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it. I know what you mean about imaginations running wild, the minute I start thinking into the future and the what if's I begin getting pulled into a dark hole.
I do have counselling, originally I began last year because of health anxiety and depression my counsellor was just about to sign me off when this happened with my dad. I am also on anti depressents so am a bit of loon.
I try think rationally about my breasts, knowing they often hurt before my period and actually are only pain free for a week or so each month, it used to be just the right one but now both. Weirdly I can sleep in them with no pain, i mentiond it to the doctor Thursday but he didn't seem concerned.
My dads appointment is at 11:20 in the thoracic medicine department of our hospital. I have tried keeping myself busy today but think the clock has stopped xxx
