Is it ok to joke

1 minute read time.

Hi all . I often joke about my cancer and my mortality find it funny have a good laugh then find I've I've offended a perfectly healthy person. I think that is funny in itself . I've always been that way though and I can't change now I've got terminal lung cancer with various mets around my body. I just can't bite my tongue sometimes especially at work when people have had time off for headaches a cold where they force a sneeze about once at work or they loudly blow their nose to show just how ill they really were. Oh dear a paper cut ohh you should go to A & E . Tut tut how painful. I overhear conversations about how they have suffered and often think I wish I had your life it is so simple, they often forget you are Sick all the time and always in pain . and they make every painful noise they can think of whenever they get up from their desk etc. then if you make a joke about yourself they give you dirty looks of horror. I've always had a positive attitude to my cancer , but I was a bit of a pessimist before I was diagnosed my personality changed that day. Now I just find humour everywhere ,except my blip with the steroids . But now it's all coming back its good to laugh again. Does anyone else joke about it or do you bite your tongues in fear of offending someone.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    It's 'almost always' fine to joke about your cancer (it's yours after all).... I'd have said 'always' but in planning a birthday party this year I decided to host a 1970's kitsch living wake... all black clothes and cheese and pickles on sticks... but in the end thought better of it as my kids wouldn't quite see the black (!) humour in it.

    But as a rule... humour is a perfectly good coping strategy.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi i am always joking about my cancer and the fact that I may die soon. Most of my friends are used to me as I have always had a black sense of humour, so I tend not to have offended them. I always make it a rule that nobody should cry or get upset when I am arround, or I'll go home. If they want to cry they have to do it when I am not there.Keep laughing it will do you good and keep you sane.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I joked and laughed all through my brothers illness and got a lot of comments about the way we joked even to be told by medical staff that we needed to take it more serious. it helped us all coped the jokes even kept going through the funeral where he stitched me up with his last request for me to wear a pink shirt knowing i hate pink so i got my own back and played a hymn coz he said he dident want any people commented it being the funnist funeral they had been to and it made it more speacial as it reminded them off him more as the jokes where flying so yes i do feel its ok to joke humour helps

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I have been reading all the comments above, and you guys are unreal, but I have found that we are the ones who accept our destiny, while it makes the healthy people feel really uncomfortable about it.  I have been MORE than incredibly lucky with the diagnosis, treatment and remission, so you guys have my sincerest respect and admiration.  I'm afraid I upset the "Shrink" a bit when he was preparing me for my future with Cancer,and instead of deflating, I came up with something like "and then ?".

    The Medical Staff who have known me during my Cancer treatment tend to perk up when I walk in, because they know they're going to get a break from being funereal for a few minutes.   I don't actually make jokes about the situation, but treat it extemely lightly, and enjoy a bit of banter with them.   I've got Prostate Cancer, so making jokes about "down there" isn't always appropriate, but I'm not past the odd naughty comment.   As I need Tweezers and a sugar lump to coax the little bugger out just to have a pee, they are fully aware that I've got NOTHING to brag about.   What used to be measured in Inches, is now the same amount, - but in Centimetres - - - if it's not too cold.   With a drop-dead-gorgeous Nurse, who KNOWS that you KNOW that she KNOWS - - - it's best just to talk about the weather.

    I'm not entirely sure that I agree with your "black humour" - - just a teeeensy bit controversial.