Firstly welcome,
please accept my apologies for not doing this sooner, be prepared to read exactly how it is, every little meltdown,
I have decided already that the meltdowns will appear as they happen and then I will also write a reflection as the two are very very different. as when they happen what may actually only be something very small or petty is such a big deal when you can't control feeling actions or the way in which you react to anything, upon reflection or in the cooling off period meltdowns are still significant.For example the first I remember is whilst I was still in the hospital after my second op. one of the nice cleaning ladies was wiping down the portable table and my magazine was laying on it I remember thinking oh god don't get my mag wet, you know the soggy damp back page you get when a surface has been cleaned it brought tears to my eyes, a little extreme I think now but it really was a big deal.
for those of you who are not friends or family and reading this you should really have a bit of background info,
During Dec 2012 I had the most amazing sore throat ever, my neck swelled quite nicely into the size of a fist and the other half insisted I saw a doctor, diagnosis was an allergic reaction.
end of Jan 2013 the swelling from before Xmas hadn't quite disappeared so went to G.P, now I don't do ill/sick/visit the G.P, put it like this, I have had the same job for the last 13 yrs and my sick record stood at 6 days for the whole 13 yrs. anyway the G.P gave me a complete once over, got a senior partner in to have a look and the pair of them promptly referred me to E.N.T clinic.
two weeks later I had my first app where to my horror the doc stuffed a camera up my nose down my throat to have a look, result, he needs a sample couldn't quite see. left me hoarse for 3-4 days
One week later I had F.N A ,fine needle aspiration, bit like a blood test in the neck to take cells for testing
The next week I was told that the biopsy results were inconclusive so they wanted to remove half my thyroid
Gave up smoking on March 9/10th on the 10th I had a few puffs of someone else's, I read the book easy way to stop smoking by Allen Carr and I have no idea how or why it worked but it did and I smoked on average 10-15 a day and had done so since I was 14, I am 46 going on 47 now.
First op to remove right side of thyroid took place on March 11th 2013 over night in hospital back home bit stiff , had severe pain on about day 3 but bounced back so quickly was remarkable, result from histology took 5 weeks,
15th April follicular carcinoma , cancer, confirmed as a precaution they wanted to remove other half of thyroid, I wondered how long I might have to wait but an appointment had already been made I went back the following week.
22nd April 2013 complete thyroidectomy, stayed in hospital 4 days only because i managed to have a little blip on day two ,
since coming home and being on medication (Liothyronine) to replace hormones its been up and down, actually its not really been up its made it to level a few times but not quite into the higher gear yet.
it has been confirmed that the second side of the thyroid was clear no cancer was found which every body else thinks yay that's great , I know deep down it is but all the same its cancer!
I have had a few problems with calcium levels and medication and according to the hospital its the medication that cause the effects I am having, I am on medication only until I have the radio active treatment then I will have a couple more weeks of it and be swapped to the thyroid replacement medication(thyroxine)
I am praying not every day almost everything I do is such an effort and really takes it out of me , its a mean feat to have a shower, wash my hair and be dressed by lunch time!!
Fingers crossed.
