One Year

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

19 Oct 2010

Does one year seem long? Is one year very short? Is there a time to put to any of this emotion?

I have become my mothers carer. Sounds simple enough. I was looking after her before she was diagnosed with lung cancer, one year ater that diagnostic nightmare and a biopsy from hell with a bleed just to add to my mums problems, I find myself feeling rather selfish...yes selfish.. My life has stopped....My Mum is 85yrs and I, 57. All my aspirations and dreams for my life after the children go from the nest have changed. I hate myself for thinking the way I do, I love my mother dearly I would do anything to help her get well but I find I am going down a helter skelter and am loosing my identity......please.....does someone out there know what I mean? I am sorry to bother anyone I know everyone is hurting and I know more than anything I should be counting my blessings of having my mother around for the 57 years of my life....I know...but....I know......

FormerMember over 14 years ago

being a carer is the hardest job i have ever known, and when your'e doing it a year is a very long time, the only thing harder is when your care is no longer needed.

but you are not being selfish, are you getting any help? The thing about long time care is it takes it's toll on anybody.If you try to do it all yourself eventualy it could make you ill in which case you would not be able to carry on.Have you tried to get respite help, even one day a week would give you chance to unwind. Don't let what is done with love become a burden, I know it can be difficult getting help i have a a son who has been very ill for several years and at times its been like banging my head against a brick wall but eventuly someone will listen ,Try your doctor and if its a differant one your mothers doctor believe me they will understand and will not think any less of you for wanting the best for your mother.

take care
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Aurora,

Go and see your GP, and have a chat about how you feel hemay be able to put you in touch with someone who can help. All the Best and Good Luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Aurora,

Caring is the hardest job in the world. As others have already said, see your doctor and ask about respite care. You need a break.

Hugs,

Jan x
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