Emotions taking over..

Beth,

It's easy to understand your feelings. But you need to understand that none of this is your fault.

Losing a parent is one of the hardest things you will have to go through in life. Like you I am losing a parent - my mum. I have days where like you I struggle so much, I feel your pain.

My mum too has gone through stages of shouting and anger, I realised that she wasn't taking it out on us, she was becoming frustrated at losing her independence, angry at what is happening and she doesn't want us to see her like she is. Your dad may be shouting because he's going through those emotions too, or it might be a reaction to medication or his illness.

One thing to remember is you are never alone. There are so many people on this site going through similar situations - even though we don't know each other we are all here for each other.

Hugs and take care of yourself.

This is not your fault and you must believe that.  The illness was there already - if you had not taken him to hospital, which you did because you love him - he may have suffered more.  The decision you made to take him to hospital is not the cause of all this.  Look after yourself, be strong for him and your family.  Talk on here, it really helps.

I want to say thank you too you both, people im close to say what you both have but it never seems sincere because i feel like they just try to cheer me up and say what you want to hear.

How do you deal with your feelings? Do you feel writing blogs on here helps?

Beth x

Beth,

I have been writing a blog on and off since November I think, my mum was diagnosed in August. I usually turn to blogging (is that a word?!) when I'm feeling at my lowest. It does help. I never expect anyone to read them it's just another way of getting my feelings out but it's always nice to know here are other people out there who are going through the same.

When you asked how I deal with my feelings / emotions. The honest answer is some days I can cope, other days I struggle. It's completely normal to feel up and down. It's also completely ok to cry.

There are Macmillan people who you can speak to in confidence about how you're feeling, there's a phone number on her website I believe. And there's always people on this blog site who you can talk to. If you think that bloggings helping you - keep it up. I also find having a chat with / hug from a friend you trust helps too. However you decide to try to deal with everything you will get through this. You'll find strength that you didn't know you had. Look after yourself.x