My mom

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

18 Jan 2017

Hi,

This is my first ever post. My mom received the news that she has stage 3 breast cancer yesterday after a check up on December 22.

I don't know how I feel, I am angry, confused and scared. I will of course stay positive, we are strong, it's 2017 and she will get the best possible treatment. She is only 48 and has an exemplary lifestyle so every chance of being fine.

My question is, all be it self centered, how can I help her? What do I do, say, not say? I am 30 with a 20 month old toddler, a full time job and she lives an hour away. How can I be the best my beautiful, loving, and vulnerable mom needs? When all I want to do is cry and stamp my feet at how unfair life is.

My mom is the centre of our family, my sister and her are inseparable. She is 19 and about to go to uni, how can I support her, make them both feel safe and loved?

I am sorry if this doesn't make sense, I just don't know how to get my words out of my head.

Thank you for taking a minute to read this. If you are on this site, you must be going through your own hell.

FormerMember over 7 years ago

Morning Cm1005

Warm welcome to the Mac Community, not that we like seeing so many new members joining this particular club :(

So sorry to read about your mums diagnosis, that news is always a total shock and causes many emotional ripples they sort of overwhelm everyone - The anger, fear and confusion you feel are all totally natural reactions to this at first. It's your brains way coming to terms with not wanting to accept the bad news.

This is an emotional time as much for all the family as well as the patient. When you hear the C word most people always think the worst, but with modern treatment regimes breast cancer has a very high recovery rate, so don't go thinking the worst.

If you click on the image below you can read the 'When Someone Close' booklet which may help you with the emotional turmoil cancer in a loved one brings. Once opened this can also be saved to your device for future reference.

Do please at least join the Family and Friends Group here (link) where you can chat to others who have a family member diagnosed. It is a far better way of getting support and advice rather than using this blog method of conversation :)

You mention your sister starting Uni - Our daughter was 3 months into her first year when J was diagnosed (also grade 3 breast cancer) and wanted to come home, we told her we would be fine and to chuck her cancer angst into her studies and 'do it' for her mum - it all worked out great :)

You sister should inform her Uni pastoral care team and also her tutor about this though - it will gain her some leaway with her studies and some allowances could be made should she need them.

Do get back to us with any questions you may have, we're all here to help. There is also a very active Breast Group should you need treatment advice at some time.

Take care, G n' J (breast group)
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FormerMember over 7 years ago

To G n J,

Thank you. I will follow your advice about the groups and I will talk to my sister too. To know that someone has taken the time to read, understand and respond to my thoughts is a lovely feeling.

Thank you.

Cm1005
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