It has been a while since my first post. 'Things' have a habit of catching up with you and taking over.
With BCG treatment looming, it was all becoming daunting again. We were tired and emotional, would this be our last chance? He had reacted badly to the mitomycin treatment and we had heard several bad stories about this. How would this be any better?
I took to looking at crystals and their meanings. Even if it was all mumbo jumbo maybe it would be a distraction and even have a positive effect. I got myself a chakra bracelet to try to help me keep balanced - not entirely sure but I am persevering. I was drawn to a small green crystal called a bloodstone and on a whim ordered it. When it arrived it had a little description card with it:
"Bloodstone gives stamina and powerful strength during periods of endless difficulty when you feel that you cannot go on. This stone clears all self-doubt and helps you to persevere through your issues until you are through the worst."
Perfect! It is also supposed to be linked to the blood and kidneys. As it all started there I took it as a sign. It could also fit in the palm of your hand and although it is carved into a star type shape it is easy to hold. This was his good luck token to take every week for 6 weeks. I placed it on the shelf ready to start its magic.
The magic didn't start immediately. In fact after a major wobble I wasn't even sure he would go to his first session. I hoped he would and was so relieved to know that he had gone and taken the crystal with him. He clenched it tightly in his fist as the nurse administered the BCG. From then on, that would be the routine.
We knew the drill about bleaching the toilet, being careful as it is a live vaccine etc etc. I had so many bottles of bleach stored around the place anyone visiting must have thought I was mad. We had a system of shouting when we could or couldn't use the bathroom, mainly so our daughter would know and keep out. Then we waited for the side effects...
Over the 6 weeks they haven't been too bad. There were flu like symptoms that came on at night but were gone by morning. After the first couple, 'debris' as he called it was starting to be passed. The nurses said this was a good sign. The last two have brought on more urgency to wee and burning but all in all it has been much better than we expected. More to the point he lasted the whole course!! The chemo only got two thirds of the way before they stopped.
Now we wait another 6 weeks before the cysto to see how it has been working. The little crystal is back on its shelf and it will go to the hospital every time from now on. I am putting my faith into everything possible that this is the turn around for us and we start to get some good news.
