So I'm writing this a few months after the events I'm going to note down. I don't want to have an actual tangible record of this horrid time of our lives, but I feel it's important to keep a note somewhere - here on this site seemed like a good option.
Dad had some trouble with his liver last year (April 2015). He lost his Dad, and he took it very very hard. Less than a week later he'd ended up in hospital and it took him several weeks to get out. When he came home he was a shadow of himself - he couldn't walk, barely slept and was extremely confused a lot of the time, sometimes even forgetting who we were. It was extremely hard to see and for a whie I was scared the light at the end of the tunnel had dimmed.
Thankfully he pulled through. We had a lovely Christmas, and had a wonderful family filled week for my wedding in June 2016. Finally, things seemed to feel better, and even though my Dad was still recovering, he was back to being himself again.
Then on July 27th, less than 2 months later, everything was shattered again. I remember being in Costa with my husband on his work break, when my Mum called and said "Daddy's got a bit of cancer in his liver. We've overcome so much though, we can do this too".
His appointments for the next couple of weeks were suddenly brought forward and packed into the space of a few days. We weren't sure if we should be pleased or frightened.
Then August 3rd, one week later, Mum & Dad went for his appointment and for a proper diagnosis. They called me at 9.30 that night to say it wasn't curable. I've never felt like I did then. I felt like every single thing in my world was falling down. I moved a few years ago to live by the sea with my husband and with no family around, I spent the night walking around the beach in the rain.
Around 11 months we were told to hope for. I couldnt, and still can't, fathom what that means. He'll never walk my sister down the aisle. He'll never meet his grandchildren, just like my grandad and great grandad. He won't get to finally grow old with my Mum now that all their troubles were coming to an end.
I was given time off work and went to see him and Mum and they were incredible. Mum had a few cracks, but he was, and still is, being incredible. You'd never know he was fighting a losing battle. Usually he's floored by a cold, but this wasn't getting to him. He's so brave. He's so strong. I can't stress how incredibly proud I am of him and my family.
