When will my luck change?

2 minute read time.

Wednesday 21 December 

Well I've said it before I should never make plans because someone 'up there' really doesn't like me lately. Yesterday it was full steam ahead for visiting our daughters for Christmas, and today I am in hospital. Plans spoiled yet again.

I didn't feel brilliant when I went to bed last night, but as I'd just been pumped full of s**t and poison as the chemo nurse called it I really wasn't expecting to feel on top of the world but I had a terrible night, couldn't sleep,but put that down to the steroids. I felt sick, hot and cold all night. Then when I did get up I just knew I had a temperature, I felt boiling hot and rotten, my temperature was 38 at 8am I took it again a little after and it was 37.6 so I phoned the chemo unit at 9am and they said to give it half an hour and see what happens, it stuck at 37.6 so I had to go to the A&E. 

The chemo ward nurses had told them I was coming so when I arrived I was given the full MOT, bloods, heart,  urine, chest X-ray you name it, I got it, they were very thorough, absolutely wonderful in fact.

So now I am sat here, feeling very fed up in a side room having had antibiotics on a drip and now waiting to be admitted for the night, hubby has gone home, coming back tomorrow morning. I'm hoping to go home tomorrow, but there was a muttering about being home for Christmas...I have a feeling it will be the 72 hour hospital stay with  antibiotics if you get an infection that was mentioned at my pre chemo meeting. I feel like giving up, I'm so tearful and feel silly for being so. 

I've just been moved onto the ward now  and they mentioned maybe going home tomorrow, or 48 hours so it could be any time. Will up date later.

Update:

Well it's 3am no sleep so far, the earplugs do not drown out the sound of continuous snoring and coughing, the machines bleeping etc. Also I had an antibiotic drip at 11.30 pm, that took a while, then observations at 2am. But so far my temperature is ok now and my blood pressure has gone back to normal so things are looking up, but I know what happens when I start to get my hopes up about anything, so I don't want to jinx things again.

One funny thing happened, I forgot my tooth brush, it was the only thing not in my emergency bag, I intended to get another soft brush, but it slipped my mind, so the nice male nurse showed me where the spare ones were, and then said, 'would you like anything else, look here's a nice comb' that made me laugh, I did say that was one thing I don't need right now. 

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi JM

    Bless you what a crock of s**t, can.t give you any tips on this as I escaped hospital admissions,but they will look after you and get you sorted as soon as they can,i am hoping and praying that you get to see your daughter,rather this happen now than when you are visiting, antibiotics are marvellous things, I know you are disappointed ,and you are not silly for being tearful,if it was me I would be swearing like a trooper and looking upward and asking old JC "Is there anything else you want to throw at me",your medical team will do everything they can to get you home.......trust them,we haven.t asked for any of this, but we.ve got it, and we will deal with whatever is thrown at us hard yes,doable yes,its not easy,yes you feel like giving up but we are strong,and we are beautiful women, and we will get through this.

    Life is  a s**t sandwich and some of us get a bigger bite than others,but it wont always be like this,very very soon you will be holding a brand new life in your arms, your grandson, keep looking to that ,you will be home soon.

    Stay strong my virtual friend.

    Love and Hugs

    Dee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Oh Jm, I really feel for you, as I read on here recently making plans gives God a good laugh. No wonder you feel like giving up, I've had those days of " Oh what's the point " and then later I get because I'm too stubborn to give in. My long gone mother used to say " God won't give you more than you can handle" although it may seem like it. Picture you and your husband eating Christmas dinner together on Christmas day and holding your grandson in future. And don't ever feel silly or that you are being weak for crying. Men and women alike we all cry, it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. So just you focus on getting better and getting home soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, hugs and best wishes to you and your family. They will all be thinking of you to.

    Frank

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Yes, things never go as planned. So sorry to hear about your troubles. But keep on fighting for the ones that love and need you!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I'm so sorry to hear this as I know that you were beginning to feel so excited. Trust in the medical team around you, they will do everything they can to get you well enough to enjoy Christmas. I'm thinking of you. Jo xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Chin up love, take each day as it comes, prayers for a speedy recovery and full on Christmas x

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