This is my life so far...

My name is Janette, Ive been for married 28 years, my husband is my best friend, I know everyone says that, but he is, I won't say he's the best husband in the world because who knows the answer to that, all I know is that he's perfect for me, we have our own little business and we work together, have done for many years, but we don't spend every second together, he has his rolls in the business and so do I, but we work together well. We don't really argue, we just ignore for a while and move on, he saves his expletives for his computer, much to the annoyance of one of our little dogs, who run to his bed and hides.

We have two rather lovely daughters, 28 and 26 years old, (Yes I was a shotgun bride!) naughtiest thing I've ever done, but I think I've been forgiven. They are happy girls, they have lovely manners, and treat people with respect, which are simple qualities you see less and less now. I love them dearly and, yes I am a very proud Mum. One works in teaching, the other one in an operating theatre. (No pulling the wool over her eyes over this diagnosis.) 

My lovely Mum died ten years ago, it was brutal for us all, she was the lynchpin of the family (I've taken that roll now) she had a heart attack whilst on holiday, she and my father had taken my nieces on holiday to Turkey. I still torture myself with thoughts of how scared she must have been when they rushed her away from my dad and left him in the hotel, he had to get a taxi to the hospital, by then it was too late, he was all alone and with two young children to get back to the UK. My mum did everything for him, old school, even laid out his clothes every day, that night, my dad changed forever. The Turkish 'ambulance chasers got my dad to sign paperwork he shouldn't have, so effectively he signed mums body over to them in his grief and confusion. My poor dad was so confused that he couldn't remember the name of the hotel they were staying at, the taxi driver took him back eventually, but also took all of his money from his wallet, and my dad always kept a lot of cash on him.The signing over of mums body resulted in ten days of phone calls and blackmailing from these 'criminals ' to release her body, adding on £1,000 every time a flight to the UK left Turkey to the already huge amount of money upfront. The holiday company eventually sorted it out but by this time it was too late to 'view' mum and say goodbye. She was due to come to visit us after her holiday, I hadn't seen her for a little while and was so looking forward to it. These were dark times for us all. My father has altzimers now and lives near my brother, a five hour drive from me.

My brother...I don't know how to describe him, he's odd, He's older than me and was a terrible bully to me as we grew up, I sadly thought all brothers were the same. I've only been closer to him in recent years, but it's not a perfect relationship and I won't pretend it is. Sometimes he phones me and tells me what to think or do, usually when he's been drinking, which he does a lot. He doesn't get on with my Dad and will only visit if my dad needs help, which puts a lot of strain on me.

My Dad...I'll make this short as it's a long story.

Dads mother died in childbirth, his father resented him for her death, his father was in the First World War saw horrors and never spoke of them, but he took it out on my dad and beat I'm senseless. My dad was neglected and beaten throughout his young years, terribly, he had nothing as a child, was lent a toy at Christmas for a couple of days by a neighbour (you get the picture) but then just before being put in care he was claimed by a half sister who's husband sadly also resented my dad being there so dad ran away and joined the army as soon as he could. He traveled the world and enjoyed the structure and 'family' the army life gave him. He tells me these stories over and over again.

He met my mum while posted in the UK my mum was diabetic, in those days it was a serious illness, dad took it on board and they  got married after a whirlwind courtship , mum was pregnant with my brother at the time she got married, (I must be thick because I didn't work this out until I was about 18 years old! I realised while I was buying a pair of shoes in Clarks shoe shop, how bizarre) 

The marriage wasn't great, my brother was born in Germany, me in Brighton, then we were sent to Singapore and back to Germany again, then back to the UK. During this time my dad drank too much and took his frustration out on my mum, my brother saw a lot of this as he was a bit older than me. I sensed it, it was a stressful upbringing. My dad was very strickt with us, I had few friends visit due to them being scared of him. My mum put up with such a lot, and never complained until her later years. 

I left home at sixteen, as soon as I could get a job, i took my dog and lived in the only place that would let me take a pet, a dodgy bed sit, but for he first time in my life I felt relaxed, like ld let out a deep breath I'd been holding in for years. 

I need to close this now and post it because  my hubby is about to turn off the electric so I might lose it! So I'll be back later, to be continued........