Wednesday 5th April 2017
I'm sitting on my hospital bed waiting to be discharged. The operation went very well and the best bit was that the sentinel node that they biopsied while I was under was clear of any cancer cells, so no need to remove any more and do the auxiliary clearance, what a huge relief. I am still on cloud nine about that! I had totally convinced myself that the cancer had gone to the lymph nodes because of all the funny twinges during chemotherapy. When I woke up after the operation the first thing my right hand did was to move over to the left to feel for the drains...and there was nothing there, the nurse knew and said straight away, all clear Janette, the biopsy was clear, no clearance needed, no drains, no nodes out other than the one biopsied. I was shocked and wondered if I was really awake or dreaming! I was sick after the operation a few times... no sickness all through the chemo then yesterday I was, and I felt grotty all afternoon so I couldn't go home. Hubby and daughter visited in the evening and brought my birthday cards and presents, cake and flowers in which was lovely. I thought I'd sleep really well last night but I got two hours, I woke at 1.10am and that was it, wide awake, I didn't mind though because all I could think about all night was how very lucky I was to have not had cancer in the nodes, I just couldn't believe it. Now for the follow up appointment on 21st April with the full results to see if they got clear margins and for other information.
Back to the operation, yesterday morning I was lucky to be first on the surgery list, I have to say I was fine until they brought the bed up to my room, 9.15am then I just felt tearful, silly thoughts going through my head, I was scared of waking up after the operation but also scared of not waking up. I didn't want to hear any more bad news, but just I couldn't imagine having good news either. I just felt I couldn't win either way, so I sort of switched my mind off and just went through the motions, but after a couple of minutes I couldn't hold it in anymore and I cried a bit, the nurses were lovely though and understood. When I got to the theatre there were more questions to answer and there was a bit of a delay, I was surprised at how many people were in the operating theatre, just for me. It was a bit scary. Then when it was time they put in the cannula, injected something and asked me to breathe in from the oxygen mask, it smelt a bit perfumey. That was a lovely feeling all floaty... Then I woke up, and that was it, job done! Amazing, I was back up in my room at 12.15pm, they said there was a half an hour delay as well so I could've been back earlier, so the operation wasn't as long as l thought it would be.
I am a bit sore today, haven't taken any painkillers yet today but probably will when I get home. I've got my appointment card, my dos and don'ts list, still waiting for the surgeon to check me over and for antibiotics, then I can go home.
Another plus is that my eyes are slowly getting back to normal, still watering, but not as much now. I'm going home very happy and relieved. I'm sure I will find something to worry about soon, but I'll make the most of this feeling for a while.
Stop this ride...I want to get off!!!
