I guess my blood count has been found to be low (65 - where about 100 is the lower end of normal I think) - which was worrying enough last Friday for my doctor to almost get me a same day transfusion. I ended up having a whole 3 units two days later on the Sunday - which was a long day! I have felt physically kind of strong, or at least more...solid, but mentally/emotionally have felt pretty weird. It has strongly occurred to me the reality of what has happened - that I now have 3 pints of other people's blood in me/as me - 3 pints of substance that has almost instantly, once in my arteries and veins, become me. And yet it has different DNA, different patterns residing within, that I must assimilate into my being. No wonder I feel weird!!
Not as nice an experience as the transfusion I had maybe a couple of months ago now. Only two units that time, but everything that day went smoothly, and I felt fantastic afterwards. I have had variable results with the handful of transfusions I've had now. Still, fingers crossed and I will pick up some more, as it's only been four days since I had my fill of vampire food....
Until then, I'm just feeling like mostly everything is a drag to start. I'm glad to have this blog set up now, as I wanted something to do that might be of at least some use to others, that was also a very low exertion activity, and wouldn't knacker me out easily. I used to play chess competitively, but the late-ish nights and combative nature of playing were draining in the end and I gave up - albeit after being crowned speedplay champion of my local club - but at the cost of my gut going into overdrive as a result and my needing to go onto a syringe driver loaded with Octreotide to calm everything down!
The most difficult thing for me these days with this low 'get up and go' level, is interacting with those that are fit and well and healthy, and don't think twice about taking positive action as soon as is needed. It seems I have to often build up to any activity, and all the while take extreme care of my energy to see I don't overdo it lest I 'crash and burn' - and exhaust myself in the process. This is actually great practice - being very gentle with most everything I do is very helpful in preserving and keeping my energy steady. And being patient has paid great dividends in all kinds of situations - I tend to use breathing or meditation when I have odd moments to fill, or tense situations to face. Also visualisation has helped me - I am working with my Gatekeeper, John, and particularly the image of the shield at the moment - which is helping me to not take on board others' tensions (a tendency of mine), stay centred, and again - preserve my precious low energy reserves...
A very recent scan has helped me put into perspective my ailments. I had been somewhat reluctant to have one again after a year of nothing, given I have been reasonably well, albeit with regular issues along the way. I'm glad to say there was nothing too shocking, and I felt I learnt plenty from seeing these really cool images of the inside of my body on the screen............
