Hello,
It is a shame that we are all here for a reason, and that we are here because something terrible has happened to us.
Well, where do I begin
It started two years ago when I was back in sixth form studying for my a-levels. Mum had a bad cough for a very long time, she decided she should go to the doctors just for a check up, didn't think much of it. Then she had some scans, results come back and they found a mass on bottom of her left lung- caner. The most horrific word. At the time it was the worst possible news but looking back now and comparing to the situation now it seems like nothing. Mum had bottom of her left lung removed successful and followed up with round of chemotherapy to make sure it was all gone.
During that time I managed to sit my a-level exams and get into university! Last summer, we found out that the cancer had come back and spread to both lungs. It was terminal, I was heart broken at this time I was at university and felt so lost I didn't know what to do. Mum tried many different types of chemotherapy 3 or 4 and nothing could keep it at bay.
Mum got many infections from the low immune system, which had a knock on affect with rest of her body. She grew extremely weak and her breathlessness got worse. She's been having to have oxygen mask on all the time.
A few days ago the worst possible news could happen to our family, I'm still slowly trying to get to turns with it. Mum is in a hospice, I had to rush back from university. Mum sat me down that day and held my hand and told me she was dying. She told me that it could be weeks or months. She told me to be brave, and that she wants me to carry on being at university as she is so proud. I've never felt so much pain as I do now, I had to leave the room run outside I was nearly sick I didn't want to believe what I was believing.
More than anything I feel so guilty for mum, she's in pain and I told her to stop fighting if she in pain. She is so weak and I hate seeing her like that. I also hate being away from her at university. I am now going home every weekend as I can't bare being away from her.
My mind is all over the place right now, I don't know what life is going to be like without her she is my best friend she's a HUGE part in my life. I can't not talk to her everyday.
Why is life so unfair, I feel too young for my mum to be taken away from me.
Is anyone else in similar situation or age?
