two and a bit months later still going on musnt grumbe.

1 minute read time.

so I havnt filled in the details of the surgery yet, I may or may not do a catch up ( memory is fading, bit like you forget the worst of giving birth - for me anyway.) 

I am cancer free, it has been cut out and gone, according to surgeon.

today, I still have a dressing on my boob, the scar has not completely gone, there is a huge black scab? that needs to fall off, if it was a normal scab on my knee for instance i would have picked away at it, just as well as the dressing is still there. 

I didnt realise how much it is upsetting me waiting and waiting for this to happen, although the size difference isnt much, I am due to go out to a party next weekend, I am getting so upset at what to wear, without an obvious dent in my chest line. , luckily i still have my long hair which i tied to the side which goes some way to covering up the difference.

my biggest annoyance is that underwear situation, bra is too tight /narrow round my side underarm , there is some swelling, a vest/ camisole dont have much support and is hot , and one of those bra-vest things also pulls at my underarm after a while, making it so uncomfy by the end of the day.and they are so ugly, so if it peeps out eukk.

I might have time this week to have a go at making a bra, whether i a/ have time and b / manage to make something wearable remains to be seen.

There are still many who are worse off than me, but my happy optimism is starting to wear now, the odd tear has set in. more of frustration than anything i think. i have move my 'deadline to Christmas' .........and there was I thinking it would all be done and dusted by now. i wish someone had said.

Anonymous
  • oh! , I fainally have a proposed date for my implant replacement, not looking forwards to the physical restrictions, or the straightjacket of a bra/camisole for a month,I hope the weather is not too hot., but on the bright side,  by Christmas I should hopefully be feeling more 'normal.'  I'm still feeling tired, not entirely sure why, whether i have just become lazy, lifestyle change,other medical stuff, or older, Im not sure, need a concerted effort to up my diet and excersise befor the op.

    Oh and I cut my hair, well the hairdresser did, 17 inches came off, and I have sent it to little princess charity thet makes wigs for children who have lost their hair. I hope mine is suitable, but even if not, at least i tried. i now feel cooler, and glad I dont feel the need to hide my chest with hair.

  • shit shit shit bollocks.

    well I never got the op, hospital had a rush on of new patients. there need is greater than mine. had an offer with 2 days notice for a three days befor christmas,  no thanks. Lost a lot of weight too so needed remeasuring.

    Shit and double shit  Ive been diagnosed with Diabetes.  thats why I was losing weight, no other obvious symptoms. I have now got a totally screwed up head, the drugs metformin sr. were making me so ill I was unable to function. never hungry, didnt eat, and felt like I was dying, I almost wrote my family a goodbye letter. need to go back to doctor and see wht else I can do. read so much info online  eek! one report suggested that tamoxifen increased the liklyhood of diabetes by 25% I have some major questions to ask.  I am now questionong everything I have ever been told, how all these drugs inter react, and whether lack of certain minerals and vitamins can also have a part to play. as does sleep and stress ???!!!

    Oh and aparrently according to the diabetes nurse who didnt give me a whole lot of alternative, " they wont operate on you right now because of your blood sugar level."

     Thanks a bunch. still can now buy a whole new wardrobe ..

  • well here we are  even more months later.  and  three stone lighter and almost two dress sizes samller.The stomach pains that I thought were caused by the metformin didnt go away when I stopped everything, the doctor picked up anemia, I had a scan for gallstones ( one, not in problem area) blood tests, all good, well at least part of me is in good nick.  sent to gastroenterologist, had scan, endoscopy,  colonoscopy.( not to be reccommende)  found out its crohns disease. ( i had this in my 20's)  now on medication, and everything else has gone back to square one.  

    had a mammogram for otjer breast, shadow, so having a higher level one later this week. if thats ok, I might just might be able to have the replacement.and surgeon is desperate to lift my other boob to match. at this poit in time i dont give a shit. just want my health and energy back. Christmas? birthday? summer? this time next year?... there is a light there but it seems a bloody long stretchy tunnel.

  • well, here I am, so much has gone on, crohns diese blocked bowel with so much pain. i had op to remove damaged area, and currently have a stoma.  alsdo in the interim i have had//got heart failure. and now kidney injury possibly from the crohns op. now waiting for stoma reversal, not holding my breath though, everything is delay delay delay. i have now also decided to have the temporary breasdt implant removed  i have vage suspicions that it was the start of all my other problems so ill have to wait for that op too. they cant do it  at the same time, mores the pity.  AND whilst all  this ahd been going on, (not to mentionn covid) husband got diagnosed with throat cancer, and has had chem and radiotherapy. now clear.but it knocked him out more than he was prepared for, and still get ratty very quickly. thank goodness daughter was able to take over for a bit, i shall be eternally grateful, son also stepped up. they have both now flown the nest so heres hoping that the future is brighter.