After my first appointment I told my children. I didn't want them to hear me discussing my diagnosis in hushed tones with other people and felt I owed them the truth at the earliest possible stage.
When my 13 year old came home from school I told her the news. I said I had been to the hospital and that i had breast cancer, that it was very small and treatable and that although it would be a tough six months, we would get through and I would be ok. She asked me if I would lose my hair and when I said yes she burst into tears. I pulled her into my lap and held her as she cried. After a while, as I reassured her, she calmed down, and then she said 'what's for tea?'. My son, who is 8, was more upset that we would not be going on the summer holiday we had booked.
At my second appointment, I was told that the two latest biopsies were both negative, the calcifications were benign. But my relief was short lived, they had looked again at the invasive cancer and decided it was mainly lobular 'which can occur simultaneously in both breasts and can be hard to detect on a mammogram'. I needed an MRI scan to check the right breast and to check how big the lesion on the left side was.
More waiting, first for an appointment to come through and then for the MRI itself. At the end of the following week, I went for the MRI scan. Then another week to wait for the results.
This is so hard. Trying to stay positive for the children but inside worrying like crazy, going to the furthest reaches of the darkest places.
