I have not written a blog in ages - it just shows how I'm getting on with life really. Getting back to work and being very sociable (and lazy).
The last blog was written just before the CT scan after my third chemo (half way through the chemo). I got my scan results about 5 days later when Nick and I had an appointment with my doctor at the hospital. We were both nervous - but I was quite optimistic about the results because I felt so much better in terms of symptoms. Sure enough the first thing the doctor said as I walked in the room was 'It's good news'. The scan results showed that the metastases have reduced a lot in the lungs (in fact in her notes she wrote that they were almost resolved), and the liver ones had also reduced. She didn't mention the bone ones and I had to ask - it's because the chemo is not expected to have much impact on the bone - only soft tissues, so radiotherapy might have to be considered for that at some point. Anyway, it's very good news and it means I was to have 3 more sessions.
I then asked about what would happen after session 6 (planned for 4th Jan). She said that basically, it's different for everyone, they can't predict what will happen. If I start to get symptoms back very soon, they may not consider chemo again, because if it stops it for such a short time, it may not be worth it. However, if the symptoms don't come back for a few months or more, they may do chemo again.
I phoned my parents as soon as I was out, and instead of being very happy and positive I unexpectedly cried down the phone. In retrospect I think it was just overwhelming to think about the time after chemo. Up to then I had been totally focussed on the chemo and it working. At this point we were half way through, and the end was in sight. The end spells a nice break from chemo but it also spells more of the unknown which is scary.
Nick and my family, and a counselling session with Maggie's, have since helped me try not to worry too much about the future, and to just concentrate on the day-by-day which makes it easier to cope.
For the fourth chemo session my good friend Katherine came to keep me company which was lovely, and my sister came too and we played Monopoly Deal a lot. Unfortunately the time after that one was the hardest since the first one. I felt really sick for a lot longer and generally rubbish. This may have been due to me missing a couple of my pills on the second day...and also the doctor says it's normal to get cumulatively bad.
I've just had the 5th session, and my friends Ellie and Stewart came to keep me company (of course Nick is always there too...I thought about sending him to work since he only has a week left (new job in Jan), but I realised I wanted him there!) We played a great game called Killer Bunnies! My parents came to pick me up and my dad cooked me a great curry for the evening (my fave..!) I hope the following days aren't as bad as last time. I was pretty gutted to miss out on my work Christmas meal because they are always great fun :(
Anyway the end of chemo is in sight and I'm excited about Christmas and having a break from chemo in January, when I also have my hen party and then the wedding at the end of Feb!
Thank you for reading! Feel free to message me with questions but don't expect an immediate response!
