lonely and tired

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

9 Apr 2016

Well, op on Thursday. Different surgeon Ms Karat, she's lovely and we had a good talk on what she thinks.

I left her room feeling good, then I go home and feel so lonely. I have friends but who wants to talk about cancer, they have their own lifes with their own problems.

then there's my dad. Hes 80 and cant talk to him. He just makes me angry. He told me not to bother with reconstruction surgery. Unfortunately I wasn't nice with a response. I'm 42, single, its hard enough attracting the other sex with beings larger lady, but also adding in one breast!

then I get my friend telling me 'well, they wont be worth it if they cant see you for you and not because you have one breast'. Then I reminded her that you have to attract them first before they get to know your personality, and put the phone down.

people are making me angry and I just want to cry all the time. I'm lonely. Everyone saying 'your a fighter, you can beat this'. But what if your tired like me. I know I'm going to beat it, I have too as I have to kids who need a mum as they don't have a dad. But I tired, lonely and angry.

I don't want to put a damper on peoples day, but I wish I had someone who would help me, give me a cuddle and say everything be ok, who would arrange my kids when I'm I hospital, to make sure I got a lift home after the op. I have no one, and I'm tired.

sorry for being so negative.

FormerMember over 8 years ago

Hi Karen

I'm so sorry that you feel lonely, sad and tired.

It must be so difficult trying to manage on your own especially when you have young children.

I'm sending you a virtual hug and really hoping that things will get better. Over the last five years I've had very difficult times but there has always been light at the end of the tunnel. Try to be positive if you can, easier said than done, but it does help.

It must be difficult talking to your dad. He is probably worried about you having more surgery, but if your can have reconstruction done and that is what you want go ahead especially if it will make you feel better and more confident.

I am sure that if you ask your children's friends' mums they will help with the children. Often people are very willing to help but don't offer because they don't know how to approach you, and also they probably don't realise how difficult things are for you. I'm sure if you tell them how hard it is they will be very willing to help.

Do you have a cancer support centre at your hospital, it may be a Macmillan or Maggies Centre or a a locally run one. If they do pop in and see them, there is always someone to talk to and they offer support and may be able to put you in touch with other in similar situation to find ways of helping with the children. They also offer counselling which really helped me when I was feeling very down and alone.

Macmillan also have a very good help line, you can speak to someone about emotional, financial or other worries you might have. Their number is 0808 808 0000 (Monday to Friday 9.00 am to 8.00 pm) and there is always a friendly voice at the end of the line.

You should also have been given details of your Cancer Specialist Nurse or Key Worker - they are there to support you throughout your treatment. If you have their number phone them, if not ask the PALS (Patient Liaison )office at the hospital to find the number for you.

Take care,

Lynne
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FormerMember over 8 years ago

Thanks Lynne, I think I just needed rant. Its hard trying to be positive all the time and unfortunately yesterday was a low day.

I think when the surgery done and I know the results of the lymph then the action plan will seem solid and I not wondering 'what if'.

thankyou again for your message.
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