My amazing dad has just been diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma at 50 years old. I'm absolutely heartbroken. He's my dad, he's not supposed to be poorly, he's not supposed to be sad, hes not supposed to be scared, but he is. I'm 20 years old and I've never seen my dad cry until now. He has had a horrendous 2016 and it's only 3 months old. His health has gone down the drain since about September 2015 and it's just been one thing after another. I can't help thinking about the what ifs. What if he can't beat it? What if he doesn't see me turn 21? What if he doesn't walk me down the aisle? What if he doesn't meet his first grandchild? What if one day he's just not there anymore? Hes always been this giant, muscly man that I could barely get my arms around but now he's tiny, with no muscle and I can wrap my arms around him and touch my elbows. It's breaking my heart. I don't have much family. My nana died 4 years ago, my "grandad" not long after her, all that was left was divorced parents and my younger brother. I can't bear the thought of losing my dad. I can't stand the idea of having one less person there. I'm floating around with no direction, no concentration, just plodding along and going through the motions of day to day life. I don't know what to do.
