Hi everyone things have really been up and down for me lately. Heading to doctors on Monday as I've found a lump in my lower stomach but fingers crossed that it is nothing.
Will the time ever come when I stop thinking that every pain and every lump is the cancer spreading. The mind is an amazing thing but it is also a major pain in the ass. Even though things happen and you know it's fine the other part of the mind just won't let it be. It is times like this when I think I am going mad and cannot take anymore but then something happens whether it's words spoken or actions taken by someone you know or by a complete stranger which gives you that extra bit of strength that is required to carry on. There are also times when I need a big kick to stop me feeling sorry for myself as this is so easily done these days and it was this that I needed this week.
A friend's sister who is only 32 years of age and has an inoperable brain tumor with only 12 months to live texted me saying that she heard I was feeling down and if I needed to talk give her a ring. At that point I felt really guilty as well as feeling awful that after everything she has had to come to terms with she was going to take on my woes and worries. She has shown me that life is precious not just if you are ill or have cancer or even feeling great and everyone should, and most importantly can, make the most of everyday as there are wonderful people to meet and new experiences to have. Don't get me wrong I know this is not going to be easy and I am not going to start smiling and laughing and carrying on if nothing is wrong but I hope I can start to live again and start making plans. Tomorrow is a new day.
Wishing you all the best and hope you find or have found your happy medium in life xx
