I have never been someone who reads self-help books or who goes in for counselling or support groups. I have never felt the need for any of it, but now I find myself reaching out desperately for comfort and support in all directions. I read a bereavement book last night, and although I found a lot of it fairly ridiculous, there were a couple of points which I found worthy of further consideration.
1. When I cry, I am not really crying for Pete, but for myself. If there is nothing after death, then he is not suffering any longer and there is nothing to be sad about. If there is something after death, then he has moved on to the next phase and again, there is nothing to regret because he is in a special place. What I am crying for is me; my fear, loneliness, regrets at what I have lost, the future that will not be.
2. Reverse the situation. If it had been me who died, what would I want Pete to do? I would want him to get on with his life, remember me with love but to be happy.
I'm not sure how I feel about these, but they have given me something to think about. Anything to break up the sadness.
