Feels like things are moving too fast

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

3 Mar 2016

Just feels like everything is going downhill at the moment. Three weeks ago tomorrow, Pete had his CyberKnife treatment on his brain mets. Two days before that we had a lovely walk with the dogs, only 40 minutes along the canal but really lovely. A few days after the procedure we went out for a quiet drink, only for an hour. Since then he has not left the house unless for medical appointments. In three weeks he has become virtually unable to walk, in fact I am not sure we will get him up the stairs tonight. He has also developed a really bloated stomach. Up to now we have been blaming everything on the dexomethasone. Today we went for his first session of second line chemo, and it was delayed because some of his blood readings are off the scale. Went ahead at a reduced dose, but I have been reading p on the results of the blood tests, and it looks like his liver and kidneys are

Struggling. Tonight he is just so exhausted, still on an infusion for 40 hours, I have never seen him this bad and it is just horrible. No appetite, and just totally slammed. I try to tell myself that the chemo would to have gone ahead if they felt he was too ill, and that it may help in the long run. Just difficult to stay positive when for the first time he is showing Signs of despair. I have finally arranged to see my GP to get some happy pills tomorrow anything to numb the edges at the moment.

This is not the kind of post I thought I'd be doing, I hope that in a few months I will look back at it from a happier place. At the moment it feels like everything is being gradually stripped from us.