Well here I am describing an illness I didn't want or need. July 15 I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer within 3 hours I had every test available and told to tell my family I have cancer. Going home was unreal how do you tell loved ones you got such an horrible disease. I told my partner first he was in disbelief took me three days to tell my mom that was the hardest we have such a long history of cancer in the family. How can a mom make you better she was helpless. I had my right breast off in August 15 and started fec chemo october 4 sessions and then 4 sessions of doxetatactel excuse my spelling. I was scared confused and yet strong willed laughed it off in front of everyone. I hated my body having no control on anything I was just appointment after appointment. The fec left me tired and sickly yet I coped quite well. Expected the next stage to go ok I was wrong never felt so ill pain all over no taste buds and churning tummy. If it had been my first ever chemo think I would of gave up. I know this sounds vain my worse moments was Christmas and new year I run a pub and had to be on show yet I hated my body lack of hair and wanted to hide. But I couldn't. I've shouted I've cried pushed people away and yet inside felt so alone. My family and friends have all been supportive yet felt I had to pretend to be ok to spare them the hurt. Got 3 more chemo sessions left and just want to tell everyone you can get through things and listen to your bodies God bless you all the future is all that matters just focus on the end of the nightmare cancer brings.
