So, you find out a loved one has cancer, it isn't happening to you, but your world crashed the same as theirs. It has been since June we found out, both had a 50th birthday, (It's young to me), Even though my daughter says she is really old at 30 yeah right! - Changed jobs, live life, cried, laughed, hidden away, argued, buried heads, faced the music, played music, danced, well I did, my husband sort of moves.
And we are still here, fighting but extremely exhausted trying to be normal. If there is such a thing!
It doesn't matter what cancer it is, it doesn't matter how long, what operations, what options and which way you go, it is scary, tiring, thought provoking, emotional and can change you.
Some do this alone, some fight with families, some give up, some write blogs.......................
Me today - is tired, my husband is my world, but has changed, he is insecure, and I don't blame him, he is frightened of losing me, his man hood, his life as we know it Jim! He is deep enough and thinks a lot, throw this into the mix and he is deeper, more of a thinker and quiet. I spend time trying to cheer him up, staying positive, lots of hugs and re-assurance, he switches off a lot and needs his own time, as we all do.
So tonight I will share some time with a friend, and think of something fun to do at the weekend with my husband. Which we make plans on a Friday, this changes on the Saturday, by Sunday we didn't do anything and Monday back at work.
But I will still keep smiling.................I hope he does too.
