Exhausting and emotional day. Up until yesterday mum was aware and coherent, but thats all changed. I feel i now understand my mum's actions last night. I'm sure she was saying goodbye to me. She may still be here physically, but my mum has gone.
Had a phone call this morning from the hospice, mum had become very confused and not aware of where she is. They didn't want us to be alarmed when we arrived, it could be distressing. When I arrived at 11am she kept asking where she was and seemed to understand when I told her, but then kept asking the same thing, over and over. She became very distressed about needing the toilet, and how it hurt her head. She seemed in so much pain, nurses kept giving extra pain relief though. She was exhausted but couldn't sleep, and kept trying to get out of bed, saying that we/She needed to get up, she needed to go. Nothing we said pacified her and her anxiety and agitation got worse and worse, until they have her even more meds to try to help her to settle. Finally at about 5.30 she went to sleep, but it was still very unsettled with her rambling about things which made no sense. I left exhausted and with a heavy heart.
