Should I Go ?

At the beginning of 2018 my father was unwell for several weeks, thinking it wasn’t anything serious he went to his doctor to see if there was anything they could prescribe him. They checked him over and suggested the he give blood and urine samples, which he did. When the results came back pointing that there might be something more serious than originally thought. He was sent for several MRI and CT scans, plus more blood and urine samples. Eventually we started to think the worst, several days go by and he is called back in to get his results, he is sat in the doctors office with my step mum and is told he has a mass on his kidney and on the adrenal gland, but the out look is positive though more tests need to be carried out. He is called into give a biopsy sample, he is left in pain for a day or to after the biopsy, but hopes are high that they will remove the mass or the kidney altogether. Several days pass and he is to see his second doctor who deals some devasting news, he has terminal cancer it has spread through his body and is still spreading (kidney, lungs, liver and bone marrow, Iam sure there was something else but I can’t remember, my mind was a mess)So now I stand at the age of 27, thinking what is my next move.

There had been some confusion between the doctors and the short story is we were given false hope, after the first set of scans they knew it was bad news. My father’s main doctor has made a massive mistake as the reason he was going to see the second doctor was to talk about palliative chemotherapy and not a operation to remove the mass. This has now caused a delay in my fathers treatment and he was in no fit state to sign and paper work for his chemo (sorry meant to say all this time my step mum has been going with him)

But now Iam at point were some advice would be really good, my father has an appointment with the second doctor (the good one) so he can sign off on his care plan and start chemo. The doctor has said if any family wish to come the appointment they are more and welcome some they can ask questions. My step mum asked if i wished to go and at the point I said no, due to fact I knew what my father has and all I care about now is making the most of what time we have left.

But now I have a feeling of guilt that I won’t be there to support him, his only child, although I have sisters they are not going. I feel like I won’t gain much from the appointment in the sense of nothing is going to change this out come, my father will still pass away (I know a terrible outlook, but I have be honest with myself) but I feel like I should go to support him, my only worry is it migh have an advise effect, it might make it tougher on him.

Please some advise would be really great right now.

If you are wondering it is leoimyasacroma he has.

KJB