The letter

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

3 Mar 2018

Looking radiant and tanned after my visit to Florida with my children , Christopher and Sara .

I had to go for a routine mammogram. The same day we got back .

Jet lagged but full of confidence I drove to East Surrey Hospital .

No worries, no idea and in denial I went to guilford after I was called back with my daughter.

All too slow in my memory . The call for another mammogram, the time I was sitting in front of the consultant , the ultrasound, th biopsy and all the hint I had cancer . None of these behaviors tried to convinced me , my brain could not take it . There is no way I have cancer , no not me iam a healthy person . I have no lumps , I have no pain .

It can’t be me .

To folllow

FormerMember over 6 years ago

We all have stories , we all have struggles but believe me when health is not there , the world become a different place , a strange place , a one that you feel don’t belong to you anymore and you have no control over , the one you have to fight to stay in .

You want to sit still and think , be strong , positive and full of hope , but your brain let you down and you feel weak and stop thinking , because you realise you are just a humble little person . And have no power anymore .

Last 5 months were challenging , hard and very emotional .

I felt like my new home became hospital and my body has let me down .

Iam not sure how I got through my days ,

my feeling and though has been all over the place . one horrible though off me having cancer never left me , the question asked by me to me never stoped ,

I asked all sort of questions to myself and my God , but I never understood or got a answer .

Why now that my life seems to be so perfect and happy .?

I am not sure when the darkness of this horrible time will be lifted from over my head and shoulder .

I so much want to feel normal and try to forget about my cancer . I do my best meet people , talk to people , walk , exercice , but deep down I became a different.
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