How i feel on week 6 of treatment

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

24 Feb 2018

Hi my name is Dean I work for land rover Solihull over last Christmas I lv had the worst time of my life im 38 years old my nan died of cancer my auntie had a heart attack and died at 50 to uncle also died then I got the dreaded news I have squmish cell carcinoma mouth cancer iv have had 5 weeks of chemo which ended this week I'm so glad of that I also 6 weeks intents radiotherapy which ends next week I have list 3 stone my neck I burnt really badly I go to the QE hospital in Birmingham the staff are normally great to be honest and family support is there but I'm in so much pain I try to hide it but I feel like a whimp I go off and have a cry I'm meant to be a man my girlfriend is not coping well with it and there is not much I can do to help with that except say everything will be ok but the truth is I don't know I'm scared to be honest iv always tieded to be the best person I can be go to church help out with charity then I question why me but then I see little children with this horrible illness and think what have they got it iv meet a lot of strong people on this journey and people say I'm being brave I got to the stage now I can't eat anything solid just foresips try to have about 6 a day all I can do is hope when my treatment is finished that I stsrt to recover and get some kind if life for my self cuz this is no life how I am now I'm to scared to go out because how skinny I have became Iv lost some hair I must say this is the worst thing I can imagine I try not to feel sorry for myself but some times I can't well this is my first blog I wish everyone on here a speedy recovery and I will be back soon take care everyone and God bless

FormerMember over 6 years ago

I can understand your fear. I am also told how brave I am but only my husband has seen me sobbing. I gather from others on this site we are all going through traumas of one sort or another. Keep going you can get through this.
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FormerMember over 6 years ago

Hello Dean

You might like to join the Head & Neck Group on the site. You would be very welcome there. There are several members there going through similar treatment to you at the moment. There have been some good discussions recently which you might find useful. Best wishes for your recovery.
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FormerMember over 6 years ago

Dean

I have had something similar to you. The radiation is horrendous and something you would´t wish on your worst enemy but remember it will pass and the pain will ease. I think the problem is that anything in ones mouth is so difficult to deal with as it affects everything. You don´t need to be strong for anyone else but yourself. Hang in there.

Best wishes
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FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hello there it's Dean I forgot about this chat room this year has been so crazy. My treatment finished months ago I am still off work at the moment just waiting on a call from my manager. My last CT scan didn't revile much the doctors say just keep an eye on it. I think that this has give me alot of doubts about life wished I could just forget about it. Ok it's been just under 12 months that I was diagnosed I lost 4 stone I used to be into the gym a lots I just don't have the motervation and to be honest I would even say I'm a bit scared of the outside world, my confidence has gone I just don't know how to get back to my old self. My life before cancer was great I was always busy and always training now Iv tryed to get my hobbys back but when I can't do what I used to do I lose all interest. I need new hobby but I just so anxious about stuff I shy away. I have read that depression is a late side effert of cancer. On a positive note I did get married and have put just under a stone my taste has come back a bit and saliva is there a bit hope everyone is doing well thanks Dean
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