Why me?

Good morning.

I really don't know how to respond to your hurt anger and being pissed off. I can only empathise and totally understand why you are feeling like this. Why do you feel you have to have the zen like attitude and feel like others. Why not let your true emotions flow. Allow your feelings out, after all it is you who is feeling them not others. If you suppress them they will not go away, they will build up and up. It sounds like you are being too hard on yourself and trying to be calm purely for the sake of others.

I understand you have your lovely children to consider and will not want them to see mummy upset. Try allowing yourself some 'you' time if at all possible. Have a rant and rave, cry buckets of tears, sob till you cannot sob no more. Perhaps have a good old scream. It's ok to do this.

Do you have support? Partner family or friends? You may think this is hard for them too but be open with them. Tell them how this is making you feel. People have absolutely no idea what it's like and what we go through. If you cannot talk to loved ones then pick up the phone to Macmillan or go to one of their centres. When feeling such strong emotions and there is no opportunity to talk or rant and rave then write it all down. I have found this helpful. No one can hear you doing this. Let it all out on paper, every single thought allow yourself to let it all flow out. Don't read it afterwards, just get rid of it. By reading it you will be putting everything back in.

Remember these feelings are natural and understandable so please try and be kind to yourself, you do not have to be like others we are all different. And who knows what is really going on for the ones who appear calm and zen like. Maybe just a mask they are wearing to hide from their real feelings.

I was going to say take it easy but not so easy when you have two little ones to look after, but take care.

PJ

Dear Mrs A

I am just starting my blog and saw yours and just wanted to send my good wishes to you. I think Bronte has said it all and I can only endorse what she has said. You are entitled to feel angry, sad, pissed-off or whatever else you are feeling. Bronte has given you some sound advice. Follow what appeals to you and your circumstances. Love your children and take each day as it comes. Go with the flow.....

Thinking of you

Jackie

Dear PJ and Jackie,

Thank you for your replies, am trying to take each day as it comes, some days are just harder than others and yesterday was one xxxx