It might not come as a surprise ( partly because I am starting a blog at 00:30) that sleep is not my friend. Sleep hates me. My brain is filled with cancer words buzzing around my head, I can't stop them. So here's the start of my story so far....
We go back to July 2017 while out having a meal with my sister my neck started to swell and a lump the size of golf ball appeared while I was eating then suddenly went away again, my wonderful sister urged me to see my GP.
After this happening for a couple more weeks I bit the bullet and made an appointment. My GP said it was my saliva gland that was swelling and suggested she thought there was a small calcium build up inside it like a tiny stone. She referred me for a ultrasound to confirm this. Neither of us knew this would change my life forever.
The ultrasound showed no stone but did show 3 nodules on my thyroid that shouldn't be there, I was told not to worry they are most likely benign. Thyroid cancer is so rare.
The next step was a fine needle asperation (FNA) this was without a doubt the most horrific thing I have ever experienced. Using an ultrasound a specialist poked a needle into the nodules and drew fluid to test. It was unbelievably painful.
By this point I was off sick from work as my voice was very strained and painful. I was prescribed morphine to help the pain.
The next few weeks of waiting for the results were awful so much so I paid £200 to see my ENT consultant privately for the results. He told me 2 of the nodules were benign the other one, the biggest had been classified as thy4.
( thy1 = needs repeat, thy2- benign, thy3- inconclusive, thy4 - likely cancerous, thy5- definitely cancer) he told me again not to worry and that a team were having a meeting to talk about my tumour and how to treat it.
A week or so later I met my surgeon, who told me he was 90% sure I had cancer! 90% that's pretty sure to me. He told me I needed half of my thyroid removed so they could do more tests on it to find out for sure.
On November 3rd I was admitted to the RVI in Newcastle for my surgery. Waking up from the anethetic I was told it all went well and the tumour was off for testing my surgeon made an appointment for me to see him again in 3 weeks for the results.
The day after surgery i felt very very unwell, not normal post op pain. I was running a fever and couldn't lift my own head. The hospital told me I was fine and I was discharged home still with a fever and very swollen neck. After 2 days at home I started getting worse and worse and then eventually I started throwing up blood and having breathing problems, I knew I had to call an ambulance.
The rest is blurry it all happened so quickly!
I was circling the drain, a wonderful surgeon came to see me and put a needle into the swelling in my neck it quickly filled with thick yellow pus at this point my husband was signing forms for me to have emergency surgery. Less than an hour after calling for an ambulance I was taken into theatre for life saving surgery. The surgeon who operated on me later told me in his career he had never seen such a horrific infection.
I spent the next 4 days in the critical care ward being watched closely.
After lots of strong antibiotics I'm not infection free!
On Monday I was told I need the other half of my thyroid removed. I was given my diagnosis papillary cancer with a follicular varient. After the surgery I will likely need radioactive iodine treatment to kill any remaining cancer.
Diagnosis feels like I'm drowning, it comes in waves and sometimes it feels like I'm going under. My life has now become hospital appointments, physiotherapy, speech therapy, trauma councilling.
I know I am lucky because thyroid cancer is cureable but right now I don't feel lucky.
