Preparing for cancer
Things I learnt that I hope help others I've listed below
Of course you can't prepare for those words you have cancer. It's like someone has punched you right in the gut and you are sinking to the depths of despair.
Picture in the sun me February 2016 in Portugal loving life feeling good.
Me a couple of months later during chemo treatment. Yes I look scary imagine how I felt but I got through it and now you would never know to look at me what I endured.
I came back from Portugal and felt a lump thta I didn't feel when I was there. It was a hard pea feeling lump and I knew it wasn't good.
I went to a bupa doctor quickly who referred me to my consultant and on the 8th march 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I started chemo just after Easter . I went mad on steroids from the FEC treatment. I battled to walk up the street and to get out of bed.
People avoided me and it was a brutal time. I had many side effects and some of them I felt were worse than the actual chemo but I faced them.
I went from being Susan an interior designer who runs my own business to cancer girl. The nurses and doctors focused on treating the physical problem as I crashed mentally.
No one asked me about anything other than cancer. Let's check your temperature, your weight, your blood. I felt worthless like I was a burden on the world.
I have to say my main consultants and nurses were very good and actually remembered I am a person with interests and a life outside of cancer but many just shoved me in and out of machines barely looking at me.
Things I learnt that I hope help others
1. You will be in shock when you get a diagnosis and you won't really hear or be able to take in what's being said. Don't be scared to ask for a follow up where you being a partner and notebook and prepare your questions so you feel you understand the prognosis and what's to happen next.
I was told I'd have a port inserted and start chemo and I didn't even know what a port was.
2. Fight for your rights
I don't mean be rude and aggressive but don't be passive. Medical people will rattle off plans for your treatment and of course they are busy and harassed but if you want to pause for a minute and consider everything then do that. I didn't at the time I was just bonkers and just followed along. I didn't question things around fertility as I was too much in shock.
3. Respect the experts. I know we live in a world of google and tonnes of information at hand but understand that your medical team are dealing with your case and random information on google isn't a replacement for these people
4. Stupid comments from family and friends
Be ready for all the stress caused it. You know there is a supplement you could have taken that prevents cancer. Sugar you shouldn't have ate sugar. Matcha latte I have those every day all day so I won't get that. Also all the treatment advise from these sudden experts you shouldn't do thta chemo stuff if you eat dandelion and blueberries with lemon juice that's better then putting poison into your body. Thta chemo just spreads cancer you know I wouldn't do it. Thank you none of your wonderful advice helps me to live and undermines what I harve to go through as you can see from picture two above. Of course no one wants chemo but let's not kid ourselves into pretending it isn't necessary. Of course you have a choice but these people don't get to dictated it.
5. The sad faces
People will look at you like dead girl walking. They will part like the Red Sea as you go past sly looks but as soon as you look back eyes averted fear that the big C is all around us
6. Be kind to your nurses
These are the people you will see everyday. They are the ones who get to know you and they are the ones we rely on. My mother is a nurse and I have great respect for nurses always but I've seen really rude behaviour from patients and as human beings are you going to spend time with the pleasant person or the vile one. My nurses were fountains of information. They answered any questions I had outstanding and helped with side effects and my fears throughout.
7. Side effects
There are lots of side effects from treatment. I lost two toenails as in I had to have them taken off and it was brutal. I got a tooth infection and had to have dental surgery. You can prepare for the side effects and you will get tonnes of medication to help counteract them so don't be scared and ask for anything you need. The cliche is that you will be vomiting like a pig but I rarely even felt quesy so thta suprised me. We will all have different symptoms and reactions. I went bonkers and had a severe reaction to the steroids make sure you tell someone about any symptoms as I didn't realise what was wrong with me for ages and didn't tell anyone.
8. Don't feel like the medical staff are unapproachable
I've had a number of friends suffer through cancer this year and many of them wouldn't dream of questioning or bothering the doctor. We tend to suffer on in silence as often the doctors are very unapproachable. Stand your ground you deserve the best treatment and you are a person not a number fight for your fights
9. Water is your new best friend
I drank up to 7 litres a day and I can't stand water. I believe this helped me with the side effects. I tried to drink tonnes of water after chemo to help flush out the toxins. I was militant on the water front and I believe it helped prevent lots of issues. Water with fruit juice or herbal tea if you can't stand the taste but keep hydrating as much as possible
10. Remember your husband, partner, boyfriends life has been turned upside down too and try to support his fears along with yours and try and talk everything out which is very hard as we struggled to speak about it as that made it real but talking does help and seek help together for counselling etc if necessary
11. The mental health side get help
I went mad from the steroids. I mean thinking about killing myself hopping off the walls mad and I turned to loads of people for help and none was bothering to see thta this was urgent it was a case of in 8 weeks we could possibly fit you in.
I thankfully was private so had inhouse treatment but even this was slow but thankfully I finally felt like I had support and I went on antidepressants and I'm not ashamed of it. As my psychiatrist said this is a crises and of all times you need something to help you.
Don't stay quiet scream and shout for help make your voice heard as I was thinking everyone is focused on that evil lump inside me and here am I planning to kill myself and no one is helping me mentally
12. You can do this
When I read stuff on google and cancer forums I was terrified. Some people revel in the misery and writing stuff can make it sound much more frighten than it actually is.
I'm a needle phob. I'd never had an operation or been in hospital overnight before this. I had dental surgery I'm terrified of the dentist on a regular day. I had needles in the toes. I had MRI terror and would panic before every scan.
The thing is I got through these things I somehow managed all of it and I am still terrified of needles but we all have reserves and dig deep and facing the storm is power
You have got this ❤️❤️
2018
Valentine's Day
