Hello.
It's been 18 days since the nightmare began. Eighteen days since Mum was admitted to hospital with high blood pressure, a super fast heart rate, ascites, constipation, nausea and general feelings of being poorly. We'd been for a scan the previous week (but Mum didn't have a scan that day, she saw a consultant that only confirmed she needed a scan and got it booked in for two and a half weeks later) and she'd had a couple of doctors appointments prior, to address her issues.
Where are we now? Five days in hospital, ECG's, MRI's, ultrasounds, ascites drainage and a biopsy. And a diagnosis. A diagnosis of advanced grade three, stage 3c ovarian cancer.
Treatment should start next week - three rounds of chemo (Carpoplatin and Paclitaxel) and then surgery followed by another three rounds of chemo.
I feel surprisingly calm and practical and am thinking of all the things I need to do in preparation for this rollercoaster. I've been reading loads these last couple of days and am learning how I can help my Mum and make life as easy as possible whilst she's having treatment.
There are so many things bouncing around my head - shall I encourage Mum to trim her hair into a short bob so it's not so bad when her hair falls out or thins out? shall I buy a heat pad? what shall i start popping into a bag to start a 'keep me busy whilst having chemo' kit? how do I make sure I keep myself well so I can look after her? and so many other things...
A friend said I should write a blog so that all my thoughts and amotions are out and then I found Macmillan Online Community. And that's where I thought I'd like to dump it.
Someone asked me last week if I'd started to feel angry yet. I said no. I feel scared, sad, worried and all things in between. But I'm sensing the early feelings of anger bubbling up now.
Thanks for reading.
