A title, it's my blog the title can be anything I want it to be but could I think of one, NO! Hence the actual title. Before you ask yes I did sit staring at my iPad for twenty minutes trying to think of something!
So what did I come on here to say? Hmmmmm good question! I have so much going on in my head but I'm not sure I can put it down in words! You know sometimes it's difficult to find the words. Or maybe that's just me! I know, thanks to the drugs, that my ability to think straight has been completely messed up! There are days when I genuinely forgot the names of animals in a children's book (I'm a nanny, i don't just read children's books for fun) The other day I was sat with the toddler and had a picture of a Zebra, but could I think of that word, NO! So instead it became a Stripey Horse, well it was that or a horse who supports Newcastle! I can laugh now, but at the time it was very frustrating.
In fact I think that's probably my biggest issue at the moment, the frustrations in life. All those small things that I should be able to do, but that I struggle with. Those small things that remind me that all is not well (not that I need reminding)!
At the moment memory is my biggest issue! I was talking to my sister just yesterday and asked her how much I owed her for the bracelet that we had bought mum. Both she and my mum replied that I had paid her when we were sat having lunch in the pub?? I don't recall being in the pub or paying her!! It's sort of coming back now, but that's taken me over a day to recall! It's horrid!
Last night Mum had to remind me that my Fentanyl patch needed changing. I had remembered first thing in the morning but by the time I reached 8pm when I was meant to change it, I forgot!!
I really hate being like this and I'm not sure if there is anything that I can do to help with it! I'm sure it's down to the lack of oestrogen, which is something I can't do much about! Sadly!
So I suppose I just learn to live with it, I write myself reminders of things and then I wonder what the reminder is for? I make lists and then forget where I put them! I put alarms on my phone and ignore them! Just say it, "I'M BEYOND HELP"!
Looks like this is just the new me and that means I'd forget my head, if it wasn't screwed on! Which reminds me of a funny little story, but I'll save that for another time! If I remember that is!
So if you are out on your travels one day and you see a body walking around with no head, please say Hi as it'll be me :-)
