Seriously does this rollercoaster of emotions ever stop! Just as I think I have got it under control, i realise that's a long way off! In fact I'm starting to think that being very emotional is part and parcel of this disease! Yet another gift from the Cancer! It's so generous of you Cancer, but please no more gifts, you have given me more than enough!!
Yesterday I was hit head on with a huge dose of reality! That being, some of the special friends I have made while on this journey, aren't going to be around forever and at some point I am going to lose them and I am not sure how or if I can cope with that! :-(
I can't believe I haven't thought about it up to now. Although I suppose that proves that we see the person and not the cancer! I made friends with ladies that I liked and respected. I met them because of the cancer, but became friends because of how we got along. We have had so many laughs over the last 18months! Sounds like a short time, doesn't it? But in that time I think I have got to know them, more than I know some of my lifelong friends! We have shared the most difficult times together and it has brought us closer together, very close!
I hope saying goodbye is a long long way off. But yesterday while I sat texting one of them I was really hit with that horrid feeling that one day, my friend wouldn't be at the other end of the phone and that really upset me!
I know this is all part of life and I will obviously make the most of the time we have. I don't for one minute regret meeting them or becoming close to them! But somehow I need to prepare for that horrid day when I am left here on my own! That's pretty cr@p!
