I am really starting to HATE this word! It seems to be used more and more! I hold my hands up, as yes I have used it too! But you know what, there is no 'just' in all this!
I met with a friend yesterday she also has Secondary Breast Cancer. We were chatting about things in general when she made a comment about something she read online. Ladies almost comparing their cancer and how one was worse off than the other and how they should stop complaining, because she would love to swap places and have 'just bone mets'!!
Oh how many times I have heard those bloody annoying words, "so it's 'just' bone mets, that's LUCKY!"
DEEP BREATH COUNT TO TEN..............
You see strangely enough when you are the one living with 'just' bone mets, LUCKY isn't really how I would describe it! I feel far from lucky! Don't get me wrong I am grateful that currently my cancer is only in my bones, but I can promise you it's no picnic in the park!
I have had surgery to remove part of my sternum, that has left me with pain! I still have an active area of cancer in my sternum which causes more pain! Easily solved? JUST, take a painkiller? See there's that word again! Well I don't just take A painkiller, I take 4 different types of painkillers and likelihood is I will be taking them for as long as I live! Then of course there's the drugs you need to take to counteract the side effects of the painkillers! You know the ones for indigestion and for constipation etc etc I'm sure you are getting the picture!
Of course all these drugs and the cancer cause issues with drowsiness and fatigue! So working full time has become impossible. Reducing hours means reduced pay! But that's okay because I'm too knackered to have a social life anyway, so it's not like I spend any money there!
But come on Londonlass, remember it's 'just' bone mets and people with 'just' bone mets can live with it for many many years!
Don't get me wrong it's fantastic that they can do so much to prolong life by keeping the Cancer under control
BUT
Its NOT an easy ride for everyone! There is no 'just' in any of this, just as there is no 'lucky'! To me Lucky would of been, never getting Cancer! That's Lucky!
I think sometimes we forget that we are all on our own journey, its not the same path for all, we are different ages at diagnosis, we have different treatment, different reactions to treatment, different area of spread, different pain thresholds, different personal circumstances, different support networks, different personalities so with all that in mind there can never be a reason to use the term 'JUST' anything!
This isn't a competition about who is worse off or who is suffering more, it's about 'living' your own life with Cancer or after Cancer, without feeling belittled by other people! We are all dealing with our own issues, no one should ever be made to feel they can't be upset or moan, because they 'just' have bone mets! We all need to remember this is a very individual and personal journey!
