Today I met up with a very good friend who I hadn’t seen for a long while and we went for a lovely meal, it was great to do something very normal, and feel good about it.
But it also brought up a lot of painful memories of the cancer, the diagnosis and surgery and the long road I travel to recovery. But I felt good to really open up about everything and it also gave comfort to my friend who knew I was getting very sick before diagnosis and was also one of the first people I told after my Dad. Mum was invited into the consultation room to be with me because they wanted someone to be in the room before I was told, obviously if I was alone then they would have no choice but to tell me, but I can so understand and appreciate that extra support, I admit to being rather numb about it and frankly more concerned about going on my holiday which was in less then a couple of weeks. It’s funny what comes to mind, I mean I just got told I have cancer and almost my first words to come out of me was can I still go on holiday, I mean get real there is more important things to worry about here rather then a holiday. But it’s strange how we try to protect ourselves. A holiday I went on after approval from my oncologist. The holiday was fantastic even if I couldn’t do what I had wanted to do, I am a very keen scuba diver and had booked a special diving holiday on a boat for a week diving the red sea. I was mortified that I couldn’t dive from the boat especially as I wanted to dive some of the interesting wreaks like the thistlegorm. But I did understand why and I just said what the heck I may as well go and enjoy it as much as possible. It was great in the day mixing with other people but when I retired to my cabin I just sat there and cried, I cried so much because I was so desperately trying to push the cancer to the sideline while I was on holiday but it kept coming back. But I don’t regret going on my holiday I met some amazing people and they took photos and videos to share with me. That week on board was so special I plan to go again as soon as I am well enough and can get insurance, insurance at a reasonable rate. I am not too bothered about that at the moment because once I am well enough to dive I will slowly build up my strength and confidence. I never expected that I would be effected this way. I had always been very confident and now abit shaky.
But what I have found from being on this site is there is so many cancers that people don’t seem to hear about, and something I am glad that Macmillan actually do support all cancers, its regrettable that cancer research still has a long way to go but very important improvements have be done.I also like to spread awareness. If a cancer is more known then people can be more aware of checking for possible signs and if in doubt get it checked out.For example I hadn’t heard of womb cancer which I was diagnosed with, yet in all honesty cancer in its very nature can crop up anywhere in your body. You hear about breast cancer and ovarian cancers all the time and yes this is ultimately because there is a huge amount of people diagnosed with these. Personally it’s wonderful to highlight awareness of them. A friend of mine has breast cancer so it’s one I was always afraid of because I have a scar on my breast.ironically I am always checking my breasts looking for any abnormality and I had a panic one year at university when the scar I got from being bite by a horse ( now that was painful), had got a bit inflamed and was red and obviously sore. I went to the GP who reassured me that it was ok and nothing to worry about and also praised me for coming in and getting it checked out. I think a lot of times we are simply too embarrassed to be checked out. With this being at the later end of breast cancer awareness I feel it’s so important to check yourself. I know the GP said to me that it’s not always an obvious lump it can simply be a change in nipple colour, anything that’s unusual then it’s so important to go and be checked. Never feel embarrassed to ask for a second opinion. Better to check then to be be in doubt.
