My Mum moved in with myself and my family last year because she was no longer happy living alone. A few months after moving in she discussed the fact she had a lump in her breast with my wife. My wife said she should see her GP and we were soon at the breast clinic getting checks.
They discovered a lump in her breast and in a lymph node. I have know of people with cancer but it had never struck so close to home and as I sat with the experts talking about what happens next I realised I was having that conversation about my Mum. I don't really think it struck home completely even after the operation and the planning of Chemotherapy etc. The first time it did and I cried was when my Mum shaved her hair off. The Drs all say they are not worried about that, as its not an illness, and whilst I understand that the issue is about (in my Mums case) preventing the cancer returning I think that to underestimate the effect of hair loss is wrong.
In my view for all the thinks you can read and all the things you are told some fundamental ones are missed namely those emotionally and mentally, as well as some physical ones which, if not caught early could prove fatal.
I want to share my experience from the initial conversation around the plans for Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy to the other end of it. I would like to share where I would do thing differently, as a result of what happened and what I learnt. these things could have made it easier for my Mum earlier and to a degree kept mine and my wife's sanity in tact. I will break them down as follows:
Before I start I want to say none of what I say is a criticism of the staff. Every one we met or dealt with was hard working, lovely to my Mum and very supportive. My only concern is how matrix management meant a failure in the process as the left did not always no what the right was doing. Again this blog is intended to help those starting the process not a compliant on my part.
