Hi all
Thought I should update as it has been a while.
The best news I can give is there is no news, nothing has really changed, just like normal life it keeps ticking away except there is an undercurrent that ebs through each day nothing tangible, I wouldn’t describe it as anxiety just an awareness of my fragility.
As a couple we have taken sometime for each other with days away, holidays are a struggle for me, I worry about going abroad and the lack in insurance, I also find the travelling very tiring and I get disoriented, so for now holidays will be based in the U.K., and actually it’s a fabulous place to be, we have discovered all sorts of gems and plan to take one weekend a month as a couple to visit somewhere new.
Work, I still haven’t found an operating rhythm that manages my fatigue, I find it really hard to say no, and tend to dig deep and ring every last bit of energy out of my weary bones.
Excercise, I’ve started yoga twice a week, wow this shows how much damage chemo/surgery has done to my body but it also creates a quiet space for me which I think helps.
Alcohol I have had a couple of glasses since I passed the 365 day mark, but not fallen off the wagon completely, it is my intention to stay dry for now as my body really can’t cope with processing alcohol, nights on the bathroom floor (painful hip and thigh bones) or hangovers!
I do struggle with other people’s judgement of the choices I make without having taken a step in my shoes. The cancer banner is not one size fits all, so my ask of people is to give people space to do this the way they need to and support them with the difficult choices they will be making and not berate them.
