I've often contemplated what friendship is and what it means to me, as a child I lived a fairly insular life, my parents never had their friends to the house and I never had friends over to play, we were encouraged to join clubs and after school activities but the people I met were never welcome in the family home, and yet my mum in her younger years seemed to be rather a social butterfly, she maintained a relationship with those she met at university for 60 years but only by letter, since her passing they have all spoken very fondly of her and yet they hadn't seen or spoken with her since the 1970s.
I have never had a close girlfriend someone who I would share my deepest darkest thoughts with, there have been plenty of people to share the good times with and there has been a couple of people who have stood by my side during the darkest of times.
I probably can't write this without offending someone, it's a pattern I've experienced my whole life, people tell you they value your honesty and then when you are honest they are offended, I also don't tolerate behaviour which I find unkind.
So at the risk of upsetting a few more people and realising that despite my years I'm not sure I know what it takes for me to be a good friend, what I do know is that the following people have extended a kindness to me that I am truly blessed to feel.
I first met Julie on the school run, we are the same age and our two daughters were in the same classes, we both juggled busy lives and shared the odd coffee morning together, as the girls have become adults we don't catch up has often but when we do, it's like picking up from the day before. She also stood beside me during a challenging time before and she's done it again when cancer came knocking, if you are reading this Julie - thank you from the bottom of my heart, your friendship is very valuable to me.
Corinne & Paul, I met them in a virtual world much like this one, our lives have similar patterns and we share a couple of passions, I love the fact they understand that cancer is felt by the whole family, knowing that there is someone my husband can reach out to provides me with a great deal of comfort. I also have great memories of the times we've spent having fun and drinking maybe a little too much.
Tony & Maria, also initially met in the virtual world, our party friends, we are guaranteed that a night out or in with you will end in me being a drunken mess with the hangover from hell, apologies for the number of nights I have spent on your bathroom floor, every one of those nights has been a blast, thanks for putting the fun in to 40, here's hoping it carries in to 50!
Lisa & James the best party hosts ever, thank you for the invites, we always feel special receiving one xxx
Simon, Simon dropped in to my life during a period when I was suffering chronic anxiety, thank you for your support then and for continuing to think of us X
Emma, your kindness and thoughtfulness to my girls holds a special place in my heart along with your lovely emails xx
Aimee, dearest Aimee, I met you after work decided they would relocate me against my wishes, but wow am I glad they did, you are such an amazing young lady, you are a breath of fresh air and inspire me in so many ways, Aimee is the lady who treked across Kent with lunch so I didn't have to suffer hospital food, she also just dropped off dinner one day and regularly pops up on what's app to say Hi, I am fuels grateful to have you in my life.
Debs, I sit next to Debs when I'm at work, not only is she a mine of information and source of work support, she has also made cancer so much more bearable, she has the best sense of humour, to the point I thought I was going to split my stitches after the hysterectomy.
Oggs & Sam, thank you, you have really lifted my spirits, it was such a surprise and so very thoughtful of you xxx
Facebook friends, to those of you who have posted messages of support or sent me a private message during this time with cancer, thank you, it makes a difference it is nice not to feel alone, I know many of you have seen cancer up close and personal, every single like helps me not quit chemo.
I guess having written the above, I do know what friendship is and that it comes in all shapes and sizes and no one size fits all, it's a thread that runs through life holding all the not so perfect times together, for me friendship has created some beautiful and powerful memories, ones that will last a life time.
