Sad

Hi Becci

Time is a healer, but you have to go through the grieving process an allow yourself to heal it will be slow but you will get there, it's very early days. People do go on with there lives an it's hard when you are on your own. Can you not arrange a get together with your friends to maybe drop over your house an have a girls night.

It's going to take awhile but treasure your memories and explore your feelings with a close friend or counsellor .

Sending love

Jen

X

Hi Jen.

Thankyou and I will try and talk to ppl. At home with my 17yr son. He's a typical teenager and barely speaks to me haha. I will try and speak to ppl about feelings and memories. It's hard tho, maybe I just bottle everything up.

Thanks for answering xxx

Hi Becci, Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you've needed to join us but I'm glad that you've found the site as it is a place of great comfort and kindness, where you can share thoughts, fear and memories with people who will completely understand where you're coming from. I lost my sister to exactly the same disease as your dear husband in August of last year. She was only 32, my only sibling and had three young children so we too were heartbroken. I remember feeling as you do now and wanting to scream at those who were just carrying on with their lives. I can honestly tell you that, although we still cry when we think of her at times, we are also beginning to be able to smile when we look back and the difficult memories of her final weeks, which so dominated our thought for months on end, are beginning to be replaced by those of much happier times. I think you just gradually learn to live differently. I have a stressful job but have actually found work to be a great distraction to the sadness but we are all different so you shouldn't rush back until you feel ready. I think friends just don't know what to say and that sometimes, they distance themselves temporarily for fear of saying the wrong thing. Maybe reassure them that you're up for some company. It will not always feel as it does now and I think that you, as many of us have, will find strength that you never knew you had. I'm sure that if anyone had told you that you'd cope with all you've been through over the last two years you'd never have believed it before. I know we wouldn't have done. But you have made it this far, through the darkest of days and we will all be here to walk beside you and to listen as you slowly begin to take little steps forwards. Sending you lots of strength for the days and weeks ahead, Lucy x

Aww thankyou Lucy.

We knew my husband was terminal so we planned to do so many things of his choosing. He managed near enough all of it. Mostly sporting avents, and a couple of concerts. Looking back now he was in his element-so happy-

I think of these things and cry my eyes out like now!!! Can't wait to feel happy about my memories. I'm my husband second wife so he has 2 children with her and they didn't bother with each other much. But in the last 3months or so they sorted things out thankgod.

Families are funny things. U never know how they are going to be. My sister has told me my living room is like a shrine!!!! I have 8 photos of my husband including our wedding day. I had firm words with her haha.

I'm sorry about your sister. She was very young. How are her children??

Cancer doesn't discriminate!!!

Thanks for chatting xx

Ah babe. Its just so shitty for the ones left behind. The pain is too awful too describe. Im only talking about the loss of my mum which wasnt from cancer but any loss, no matter how, is a loss. Maybe apart from ur children if indeed u have them, the nxt worse loss even above a parent is ur partner? Im lucky enuf to have mine but i truly cant imagine how ur feeling. I wud be lying if I did, but it is true. Time does heal EVENTUALLY coz life cudnt go on if it didnt. It cud take months, or years & years but u will get there one day, somehow and alls i can say is, atleast HE was YOUR husband. How lucky were you both eh?? The pain we feel equates to the love we felt too. Sorry ur going thru the most horrific time in ur life dear. Sending you virtual hugs babe, God love you. Xxxx