it began with cluster headaches so bad I felt like my head was in a vice, they kept sending me away saying I had migranes. I insisted I had never suffered from headaches in my life ever and I wanted them to listen to me that it was crushing my head and I was in agony. my GP simply said migranes do that go to sleep in the dark it will go away it didn't it got worse till L was screaming in pain my husband phoned the GP made him come out. when I was screaming the house down so loud neighbours thought I was being murdered.
My GP sent me to hospital where they did scans to find out what was happening then they found a bleed and a dark shadow thing or that's what they called it at first.
So its called the THING....
Once I had had tests they concluded it was a tumour but needed to decide what type so I had several biopsys. after just a few days I was transferred to St James in Leeds under the care of Mr Ross a brain surgeon in the private part of the hospital. He sat me down gave me some very nice coffee.
said I had a brain tumour and it was too near the main brain stem for them to use conventional surgery methods so he was suggesting Gamma knife surgery was the only option for now. That this tumour was going to affect my hearing, my sight, my balance, and he was not sure if it would affect anything else it would depend on if they could get it to shrink with this concentrated blast of radiation.
I sat there sipping coffee looking at slices of my own brain on his computer up on the screen whilst my husband asked questions. I listened to answers Mr Ross was so nice he answered everything. He was so open So calm and so nice to me.
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel, So I didn't feel.
we left and we went to a market and my husband seemed extremely upset about it all, it kept going on and on about it I bought a ring and changed the subject.
He didn't get it. he frets you see always has done. I don't do that I think about something then I says yes or no and then deal with it. I was a business woman. I was used to making decisions so it was to me a simple matter of this is MY body MY life MY choice.
I watched MY family whinge and whine over me saying stuff like you could die and we don't want you to die you have to do it and you have to have the chemo, you just have to do it for us.
My husband whinging at me 24/7 So I started to wander away turn off my phone disappear for a whole day. to get away from them I was struggling here. The Drs were saying how are you, but my husband would answer, I sat there thinking am I invisble now. Did I vanish yesterday. when did I loose my voice ?
