I have my Oncology appointment today at 12:45! I am so nervous, worried of what she will say, frightened that she will take one look at the last two weeks and say that my body can't cope with this. I want this cancer attacked with everything they can throw at it, I want it to suffer as much as it possibly can, to shrivel and be eaten up by my body, as opposed to it eating me! I can feel a marked difference in the shape and size of the main lump and I can't even feel the lump under my arm anymore. This has got to be a good thing, right? This means that after just one cycle, it is damaged, not just struggling to grow, but actually dying. Am I being silly to feel like this? Am I hoping beyond hope that it could work this quickly, this well. I will find out today how well it is really doing and also how well they think I am coping. Just another 4 hours to go before it all gets very real again....
