Hi there,
This is the first time I have ever posted a blog, so bare with me. My father has been suffering from mental illness for some 10 years, possibly longer. He is a paranoid schizophrenic. Over the years I've had to section him as a young man, which was a difficult decision but a must as he was in psychosis. I've seen His health deteriorating at a fast pace and his motivation and "want" to live rapidly deminish. He is a big smoker and only takes pleasure in gambling...as he has done over most of his life. On Monday we found out he has lung cancer! My fear is that with his mental health as it is that he will not have the FIGHT in him to get through the intensive cancer treatment that is to follow. He is 63 and has only just began to get a bond with my children/his grandchildren over the last 2 years as I moved him in with me due to his ill health. I am one of 7 siblings, half brothers and sisters as my father was the typical old school British Jamaican and let's just say led an interesting life. His story is a shocking one from start to finish... My question to whoever reads this is how can I help my father survive cancer, with mental illness when he can't fight to even get out of bed? What hope is there when he has none?
I myself and most if not all of My siblings suffer from a mental illness of sorts. I suffer from anxiety and constantly have this sick feeling or butterflies, worrying about anything and everything. Since finding out that I may lose my father, these anxiety levels have increased. I am using this blog as a way to get out how I feel in the hope that firstly I can gain some insight to how other have dealt with something similar..(a family member diagnosed with cancer that also suffers from mental illness) secondly as a way to cope with the anxiety and get these thoughts and concerns off my chest.
How can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? How can you force someone to eat that feels sick at the thought of food? How do you get someone to stop smoking that even after being diagnosed with lung cancer can't or doesn't want to quit? Am I fighting a losing battle, should I give up and face the fact that quite possibly in the next months, maybe years my father will be gone?
I am trying my best to stay positive and to try and give my father reasons to live. He has children and grandchildren that love him. He has led as mentioned before a life full of disturbing experiences that has shaped him into the person he is today. As a result he has limited friends, he has burned bridges with many family members including some of my siblings and I feel ultimately responsible for him. However with my own anxiety and three young children to care for, self employed trying to keep all the working parts going while dealing with my father and his recent cancer diagnosis has left me feeling a bit lost.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any comments, suggestions are welcome.
