For me so far, the waiting part is the worst. I feel a little like a tornado at the moment. My feelings and thoughts spinning and changing direction so quickly.
I'll be feeling positive one minute, and then the next I'm bawling my eyes out like a baby. Then comes the obsessive googling and researching. I like to be prepared but is there such thing as being too prepared?
I also think up all different situations in my head about things that haven't even happen. And might not either! Like how I would tell my close group of friends if it is something bad. Facebook group message, over dinner? How do you do that!? And my sister. My older, wiser sister who is also my best friend. We are so close, never argued in our lives. How would I tell her.
Then after all that? I sit and think "for Christ sake, I haven't even got my results or a diagnosis yet. Pull yourself together woman!"
This happens on a repeat cycle daily. It's exhausting, ridiculous and a bit premature.
For some unknown reason to me, it helps. A little anyway.
I'm still waiting for my histology results. 14 days and counting...
Watch this space, I'll be back! xx
