How do you cope with this grief?

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

27 Jun 2017

My partner was diagnosed with lymphoma & gastric cancer we found out it was terminal but he was Start Chemo to help give him longer & come home so we can make memories but he died a week later I'm finding it so hard to cope we have an 19 month old & a 13 week old.

I'm just writing this because i am so heartbroken and finding it hard to cope its been one week without him & it's not getting any easier I feel like the day he died he took my soul with him I'm just this empty shell existing and carry on for our babies. The only reason I'm getting in up in the morning is knowing that my partner would want me to.

I just need some help on how to cope with this grief that I'm feeling if anyone could help

FormerMember over 7 years ago

Hi I'm going to ring my health visitor today

Thank you all for your support

Maxine
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FormerMember over 7 years ago

Hello Maxine

I hope the call with the Health Visitor went well today and that you've received help, or a bit of hope of help anyway. There must surely (?) be other things you can do and other services available to you. If you have difficulty accessing anything at all, then I'm sure people on here will be happy to suggest other avenues of help and advice. I think the advice to call the Macmillan contact number is a very good one. These people are very well versed in dealing with grief and loss. Sadly, it's almost impossible to think when you're grief stricken but you will find a way forward and people who want to help you. You must rely on your partner's family. They probably want to do everything they can and you must let them and take all the time you need to start to process this very recent, very profound loss. Don't be afraid to throw yourself on your doctor's mercy - hopefully you have a good one - and let them know how desperate you are feeling. It can be difficult to access NHS therapy and counselling but please, don't give up. If you can afford it, go privately, but otherwise keep banging on that doctor's door, even when you don't think you have the energy. I know that the BACCP site (something like that, the association for counsellors and therapists anyway!) has details of plenty of therapists/counsellors who will do Skype sessions, if you find it difficult to get of the house with small children. Being online and in groups etc like this one will be of help too, as you will get the chance to unload in a completely non-judgmental space. But nothing will help when you're alone and that's where you will have to be the strongest. It sounds as though you have had the great fortune to have a wonderful person in your life to love and to love you and you now have two amazing children to nurture, care for and remember him to. He will be so proud of you for making it through. Take the best care of yourself xx
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