Am I being selfish?

Hi shona 87! I read your post a few days ago and my heart breaks for both of you! My husband had myeloma and his treatment was gruelling to say the least! You do'nt mention how old you both are(do'nt suppose it matters really) ! or how long you've been together! My husband and I had been married for 22 years when he was diagnosed and he was 47!

If I'd been in the early stages of a relationship and a lot younger I'm not sure I'd have stayed with him to be honest even though we were still very much in love! I think we had sex once after he was diagnosed! Watching someone go through treatment time and time again is emotionally draining and can take its toll on even the strongest of relationships! He lost his journey Feb this year after 5 years and 3 bone marrow transplants! I suppose what I'm trying to say is your time together will be precious and uncertain! Hopefully he will be well and stay in remission for a good many years but it will return because that's how myeloma works! I think you should talk to your partner about how your feeling and maybe try some counselling to clarify how your feeling! I wish you all the best for the future! Newtown x x

HI Newtown, thank you so much for your reply! I'm so so sorry to hear about your husband! It broke my heart.

My partner is now 47, he was diagnosed at 43, I'm only just 30. He's had one stem cell transplant but he's has two different chemo cycles too!

I love him to bits, which is why I feel so bad when I get " annoyed " that we don't have sex. It's not everything in a relationship, but I just miss the intimacy with him. I can't imagine being without him but I know one day I'll look back and think that the no sec is so insignificant, makes me so sad to even think about it, as you say, it does come back! My partner had the highest light chains levels the doctors had ever seen, so it's so worrying what lies ahead. At the moment he is really well and " healthy ".

I was only with my partner for a year before he was diagnosed, but I've known him for 12 years.

I feel like I'm being a right selfish cow! He's been through so much and this is what I'm moaning about.

Again I'm so sorry for your loss of your husband, please feel free to message me anytime you need to chat. Xx